So I read a few different tech and game sites, and one of them released a story earlier today that looked at evidence from the ARG (Alternate Reality Game) that Valve has been running in anticipation for Portal 2 that seemed to imply Portal 2 would be released ahead of schedule. Initially, I dismissed this as skepticism and wasn't likely to happen, probably misinterpreting evidence and all that because it just seems so unheard of to push games forward last minute. I mean, it comes out in less than a week, how much sooner can you get?

But then the same story started http://kotaku.com/#!5791396/portals-glados-invades-bittrip-beat-amid-more-talk-of-portal-2-arriving-early http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/04/13/portal-2-levels-appear-in-potato-sack-games-clues-suggest-portal-2-could-be-released-early/ http://www.1up.com/news/portal-2-released-early http://www.wired.com/gamelife/2011/04/valve-may-release-portal-2-on-friday-not-tuesday/ http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2011/04/13/is-portal-2-launching-early.aspx http://arstechnica.com/gaming/news/2011/04/portal-2-releasing-early-indie-games-drop-hints.ars.

So I had a look at some of the evidence. Some of it is fairly compelling, because it's fairly obvious what it says. For instance, an update to Bit.Trip.Beat included the message "Like the other 12 games in Valve's Potato Sack, it is rumored that playing BIT.TRIP BEAT between now and Portal 2's "scheduled" release date might increase the chances that Portal 2 is released early. Interesting idea...". An email from Gabe Newell to members of the press stated "i released 'kick it' ahead of schedule. that was a test. my goal is to emancipate something else early. but they're on to me. the system is on lockdown. i still have access to thirteen off-site chambers and am installing a test in each one. i am going to need a lot more test subjects to move forward. waiting and am expecting immediate compliance". A message decoded in the ARG says "4/19/2011_7AM=4/15/2011_9AM" while Portal 2 was supposed to be released on April 19, 2011 at 7 AM. The evidence is all coming from the Potato Sack, a bundle of indie games on Steam that have recently been patched to include content about Portal 2. You can see them all in the articles I linked.

So, what do other people think about this? Do you think Portal 2 may see an early release on Steam for those who preordered? Is this whole mess just a load of lies? It's certainly interesting to think about it.

Also, the song in Audiosurf is a little addicting...

Is Valve physically able to release something before its expected date? It doesn't fit their MO. I'll be surprised if it's even released on the announced date at all.

I suppose they can if it's on Steam. It's their marketplace, their rules. I wouldn't expect big retailers like Amazon and GameStop to be able to keep a modified release date secret though.

April 15th is tomorrow. 9am, I'll be at work. If that's true, I will not be happy.

Granted then I'll get to play it this weekend...CATCH 22!!!

This is going against the very idea of Valve time.

Does not compute.

Gabe Johnson here. Focus tests shows that intelligent people want more stuff faster. But oh no we didn't just pump out cheap products like a Ford Factory. Oh no we demand the highest quality items for our investors. So we set to work building a game to blow the mind off of everyone, we couldn't quite get that working yet without the side effect of death. So we settled for the next best thing. Setting a release date, and then releasing our game 4 extra days in advance. Now that's science. This is Gabe Johnson, I think we're done here.

What the crap are you talking about?

LOL! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTK_Uu4Vweo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZMSAzZ76EU&feature=relmfu

*Cave Johnson

But yeah, that's funny. And that is definitely Aperture Science logic.

It's pretty much 2 days until the 15th, though is is just after midnight here. The sad part is that I'll be in the middle of classes at 9 AM PST, but I'll probably speed all the way home just to see if anything actually happened while I was gone

GABE johnson. Making portal 2. DURP. Holy [censored] guys. Let's have some wake up pills. Gabe Johnson makes them too.

No no, the announcer guy's name is Cave Johnson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZMSAzZ76EU

Description: "In this week's informational video, Aperture Science founder Cave Johnson explains why robots'll get you the biggest bang for your testing dollar. Don't wait until April 19th to get in on the ground floor. Invest in documentary game futures today!"

Oh my good god http://www.themindofgame.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/jlp_facepalm.jpg . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im6yRpQrsaY&feature=related That is all.

Cave Johnson, we're done here.

Are you trying to combine Cave Johnson and Gabe Newell?

Also, the main reason Portal 2 will not be released on the 15th: Retail stores have been advertising the release date as the 19th. Either they are all in on the plan, or they will be mighty pissed when 4 days of sales are eaten up by Valve.

Yeah. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabe_Newell Gabe Newell, not Johnson.

Oh, i c wut u did thur. Gabe Newell plus Cave Johnson. I figured it was understandable to get the names Gabe and Cave mixed up because they sound similar, but you had a point there. I withdraw my assertion of a correction

I wonder what it must feel like in the life of Gabe Newell. Able to mess with the minds of millions of fans, bending entire industries with a few words, and holding the carrot on a stick of Half Life 2 Episode 3 in front of fans the entire time.

I also wonder what music Jonathan Coulton has worked up for this game. I actually have his phone number. I'd call and ask if he had any idea who I am...

FINALLY! Get this man some more wake up pills. He's awake now, just imagine what happens when he's twice as awake. Gamgee Johnson, we're done here.

Edit
Introducing the new disappointment pillow. For those times you really need to cry yourself to sleep after your failure has been pointed out. http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3zykscRqc1qcrrq7o1_500.jpg Dog not included for 50% more disappointment. (we hope)

I don't understand why combining their names was necessary...or relevant.

Son... I... I don't think I can help you.

Usually Gamgee isn't usually that... enthusiastic, but it's Portal 2. So... enthusiasm is warranted. ^.^

The likely reason he did that was that Gabe Newell is known for "screwing" with fans while Cave Johnson is crazy. Therefore, Gabe Johnson would both be nuts and would love to screw with fans.

Cave Johnson + Gabe Newell = Gabe Johnson. I get that. What the hell are you freaking out about?


Huh...I understand both parts, but...I dunno. Maybe I'm just tired. I'll look at the thread again tomorrow after some sleep.

Gabe Johnson sounds cool too.

You get the joke, but you don't get the joke. You need some help. Perhaps a new laugh box? It's based on the designs for the prototype Glados humor core Aperture Science developed.

Edit
Yes sleep sounds like it's needed.

Edit
Prototype aperture science derailment system, for those times you really need to go in another direction. Test 1. Success. http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/members/vertigo+paris/albums/misc+pics-36/thread-derail-1953.jpg

This gone off-topic and stopped to be about an early release of Portal 2 and is instead about a joke that isn't a joke.