» Sun May 05, 2013 3:28 am It would seem a lot of us are very cynical about how FO4 might turn out, so I thought it might both be fun and help us blow off some of our steam and worries if we just had a thread to poke fun of it all. Likewise, I think parody and satire can often provide good criticisms, so it might help highlight some pre-existing features we really dislike.
This thread is purely for fun, and the idea is to post horrendous ideas you DON'T want to see come to light within Fallout 4. Either write an overview script of the storyline, or mimic a standard design document used by devs. I think it might help us all chill out and blow off some steam to write up some ridiculous ideas and realize it will NEVER be as bad as this. 
To start us off, here's my nightmare script for FO4:
The year is 2477, Boston. Ron Perlman is there. The entirety of the East coast was practically destroyed once again in 2290 when a little girl piloting an alien mothership was possessed by an alien parasite and begin to lasers at the Eastern United States. Only the Institute in Boston survived, having seen the potential for further war and bloodshed long ago, thus having already built giant super polaratic-sciency-word force fields all around their community, which successfully deflected the deathray. Now in 2477, Boston and the Institute stand mostly uncontested on the Eastern coast as it's authority and superpower.
The scientists at the Institute have long been building and constructing Androids, and with them they hope to rebuild the northeastern United States. As their technology advances however, their androids become increasingly self-aware and capable of emotion, including sadness and exhaustion, which the scientists for some reason felt would be great features in the android's operating systems. Nevertheless, all androids are forced to work around the clock, day-to-day, doing all they can to rebuild the world as it once was as their overseer scientist creators supervise them, largely reaping the rewards of their work while doing little by comparison.
The Pitt, a community that has a long history of slavery and warfare, has also managed to survive the alien deathrays, though mostly through pure luck and hard work and determination. Whereas the Institute has grown thanks to technology, the Pitt has grown thanks to something else: war. Having the only working ammo presses on the east coast, the Pitt is the only nation capable of standing up to the Institute in full-scale warfare. Since "the Great Obliteration" (the alien deathrays), the people of the Pitt have stuck together as the largest post-apocalyptic raiding force, treating all other towns as targets, seeking to feed themselves and their families in the now desolate east coast by means of violence, taking whatever they can from others. The Pitt has conquered many towns and villages, including all of Pennsylvania and New York. Amongst their land is Philadelphia, where the people of the Pitt discovered a large stockpile of FEV virus in a top secret military base hidden under the Liberty Bell center. Both to aid them in warfare and to help them adapt to the heavy radiation of the east coast thanks to the effects of the alien deathrays, many Pitt soldiers have opted to dunk themselves within the FEV vats to become Super mutants. Today, the Pitt is known for having Super Mutants as their elite fighting force, who proudly serve their nation on the front lines. How the nation of the Pitt manages to sustain itself given that it's largely a mostly nomadic raiding tribe that attacks all outsiders is never touched upon.
You are the Specimen. You are a vault dweller whose vault was broken into and raided by the Pitt's army, though through a course of events you escaped and were knocked unconcious. When you awoke, you found yourself within the Institute, as they mistook you for one of their elite missing android super-soldier units they're building to help fight the coming army. Having realized that you're actually a normal human too late because that's what ingenius scientists do, the Institute has already performed surgery on you, implanting your body with various cybernetic implants that give you superhuman abilities. Amongst those abilities is a VATS interface system imbedded into your very nerve system, along with the abilities to slow your perception of time (like Implant GRX, but available at any given time), run insanely fast very briefly, or punch through human rib cages and rip out people's hearts in over-the-top, dramatic finishing move sequences.
The leader of the Institute, after witnessing your newfound abilities, realizes how much of an amazingly unique badass you are and proceeds to compliment you at every possible chance, as does anyone else that breathes. However, he also realizes how vital you are to the upcoming resistance fight against the invading Pitt forces, and proceeds to offer a vague philosophical debate about how you're basically just an android without real emotions or feelings now and how you're not human anymore, and therefore you live to serve. They give an example of this by proceeding to shock you with the press of a button, but you're so much of an outrageous badass that you're still sort of able to fight it. Just as you're about to kill the leader of the Institute, it's revealed that they also managed to rescue your girlfriend and thanks to their amazing, unexplained mind-reading abilities having to do with your cybernetic implants in your mind (that's how they know what you think), they know that she's your girlfriend. They threaten to kill her unless you comply, and so you do. The Institute then sends you out on missions to help fight off the invading Pitt forces, and this becomes much of the main gameplay.
Throughout your adventures in the main quest, it's shown how human soldiers for the Institute often treat androids like absolute [censored], needlessly insulting them and physically kicking them and punching them in order to get their complaince for no apparent reason. You'll see a commanding officer ordering an android unit to go try to defuse a bomb in the next room over, and when the clearly emotional android explains that he doesn't want to cause he's scared, the commanding officer begins to beat the [censored] out of him while saying random curse words that are trendy with kids these days, all before forcefully throwing the android soldier into the next room, laughing smuggly as the bomb proceeds to explode and kill the android soldier.
The player will also encounter a their first enemy Super Mutant squad and have to kill them. After doing so, the humans in the Institute army will proceed to give over the top speeches about how the super mutants are disgusting animals not remotely near humans and incapable of emotions or thought that deserve the most gruesome deaths ever. The human officers will say this with an evil tone. Why the Institute employs human soldiers when they have limitless androids that they don't view as living creatures at their disposal is never explained, nor is their disgust with super mutants.
The main quest will continue to take the player deeper into the Pitt's army until finally the player is captured. The player will be captured when the Pitt utilizes a poison that would kill normal humans wipes out the player's squad, but the player survives and goes unconcious instead of dying thanks to their badass cybernetic circuitry filtering out the poison or whatever. Something sciency does it.
Upon waking up, the leader of the Pitt will talk to the player, explaining that now he realizes the player is no mere human, taking extra care to mention at every turn how special and amazing the player is. He'll then explain that the people of the Pitt recognize the plight of the android citizens of the Institute and how they're not happy. He explains that the Pitt has a history of rising up against slavery and doesn't like it, and they view the Institute's treatment of androids as slavery. He'll also mention that he finds it disgusting how the human citizens of the Institute treat his super mutant citizens as lesser beings and not as equals so as establish the Pitt leader as being morally grey instead of evil; yes he's a raider king, but he's not a racist raider king!
He then explains that because they sympathize with the androids, the Pitt forces tend to pollute their front lines by spray that deadly neurotoxin, thus killing off any invading human forces while allowing the purely android squads to advance through, finding freedom and liberty once they reach the Pitt forces and no longer wanting to fight since the Pitt will welcome them and treat them as equals. Where the deadly neurotoxin comes from or why the Pitt feels it's a brilliant idea to spread the stuff everywhere while advancing and attempting to invade instead of fighting a defensive war is never explained.
This is the part where the player receives a morally grey dilemma. They can either defect to the Pitt forces and help them overtake the Institute, thereby supporting a ruthless raider nation (but one that has equality and tolerance!) in destroying the post-war technological capitol of the US, or they can help out the Institute, thereby damning the android race while allowing humanity to advance.
Whatever the player chooses, the ending result and impact on the world will objectively be the same within the boundaries of gameplay.
The game features 12 skills and three main classes: Soldier, Scienceman and Thug. Soldier specializes in explosives, guns, melee and survival, Scienceman specializes in science, repair, medicine and energy guns, and Thug specializes in lockpick, sneak, unarmed and Streetsmarts (Barter and speech merged together). The player gets a perk every level and there are no traits because traits are too spreadsheety and redundant. Skills increase through usage and speech is a real [censored] to level.
The game also features 5 kinda big towns, but the Institute will offer basically everything so the player has little reason to go anywhere else, save for where ever the Pitt's HQ will be. There will be a peaceful utopia town in the middle where super mutants, androids and humans live in peace, and it will be led by Marcus until Marcus suddenly transforms into a piece of shrubbery and dies due to a side-effect of FEV that only takes place ~300 years after being infected. There will also be a town composed entirely of women amazons that like to flirt with the player and tell him how amazing and sixy he is. No men live in this town whatsoever, infact they haven't seen a man in over 100 years. Also their boobs are all huge.
One DLC will involve remnants of the Enclave contacting the player and inviting him to their top secret underground bunker, where they will explain to the player that mutated humans, androids and super mutants all svck, and thus it's the player character's (a pure-strain human cyborg) American duty to kill them all so the Enclave can rebuild. Even if the player chooses to side with the Enclave, the final mission will reveal the Enclave commander hating the player character for no apparent reason and attempting to kill him, thus forcing the player character to wipe out the Enclave ONCE AND FOR ALL.
The "grand finale" DLC will involve the aliens finally coming back for revenge, forcing the Pitt and the Institute to team up to repel the alien menace and save Earth as we know it. They will do so by each sending representatives to the Capitol Wasteland to revive a giant super powerful robot (Liberty Prime) to fly into space and defeat the alien mothership. The player will get to pilot Liberty Prime for this mission.
Top that.
