nice point of view... please excuse me that i use a video with the mod actually working like it should.
to solve such a problem you should at least consider the mistake at your side. i'm sure this is not a problem of the effect volume. try the console commands! run oblivion in xp mode! check the oblivion eax log in the obse folder!
besides this i personally (which means i don't want to discuss this) recommend to upgrade to windows 7 which is much better and more stable, etc... this may fix your issue as a side effect...
My Oblivion EAX log shows this:
Checking if OblivionEAX is compatible with your version of ObSE and Oblivion
Registering OblivionEAX commands with ObSE
This seems to suggest it is working. The console commands don't throw up errors but don't change anything sound wise either.
My soundcard is pretty cheap, a Sound Blaster Audigy, but EAX works on other games I've tried. Enabling ALchemy for Oblivion gave me 3D sound so it would suggest that my sound card is EAX enabled.
Also tried running in compatability mode, no luck with that either.
I'm running latest version of OBSE (18).
I'm stumped.