I have read the nVAMP requirements and I felt overwhelmed by their sheer no. I asked at Arwen's but their are no compatiblity patches with IMP and PPA. So what can you recommend?

It's all right here, from the link on the nvAmp page at nexus, all the mods that are compatible are listed, as well
as what order to put them, and how to install them

http://risegaming.com/nvamp/?page_id=180

Yah but I don't want to download all of those mods. I have read XFO and can some of it's modules work with the mods I have?
Note: Do I need literally all those mods? for nVAMP?

From the link I gave, and judging by the comments in the thread at the nexus, the load order list in that link is
the minimal required install.

so it looks like you're going to be doing a lot of downloading and reading tutorials and following
all the directions on their website

Ok, so what balance modules are popular other than those that work with the load order.

go click on "The Top 100" at NewVegasNexus and check them out, or do a search for OVERHAUL.
Search for OVERHAUL either here or Nexus or Both...

with all the work it sounds like arsing around with nvAMP is going to be, you better get used to doing some legwork
and research

Personally I dislike overhauls and balancing mods, because the modder always adds some feature
that I don't like that isn't optional, so I end up not using it.

The latest version of nVamp requires far fewer additional mods, just seven of them now (two of which are PN and WMX). I have a hunch though that XFO is probably compatible with IMCN and PPA, given the way its so modular.