so.. i figure increasing my alchemy is probably a good way to level up fast. unfortunately i cant find
any of the ingredients to make my first health potion... so, being a nord mage i decide to get wasted
and run around outside hunting deer with my light blade...

* heres hopin when u drink beer you get nauseated

unfortunately, deer are faster than me, and i dont have a spell to make me run faster (yet).
i try planting a few traps, and coral the deer into them, but to no success.. apparently, these deer
are either pyschic, or plain lucky...


so, i rob this ranger by pickpocketing him while hes bending over to pick up some flowers, somehow i manage to take
his bow without him noticing...

i then decide to follow him to wherever these flowers are headin..

* heres hopin radiant ai factors in bs like culture, family, n romance (you annoy me therefore I am? anyone?)

he gives flowers to his lovely and as they go to kiss she notices me notching my bow

HEADSHOT!!! unfortunately i miss him and nail her in the face. now, i have to make quick work of him
with my blade.. sadly, since hes ranger and deals with bears all the time his dagger is still more than
a match for my shortsword...

neway, i spam him with fire spells, and try to run away. apparently, hes not pyschic like the deers and
manages to run into my traps. i than jab my blade in his eyes and pray he dies. he does

so now i'm off to the girls house to pillage her wares. i manage to sell all her furniture and clothes
to a weird lil dwarf just outside the town nearby. i make enough money to buy a few rounds of beers...

now totally wasted i use a sleeping spell on the bartender and pray to god the open lock spell works..

and it does!!! free beer for everyone. now totally wasted i leave a tip for the bartender and hope
she isnt sore when she wakes up..

i than walk ten feet before i stumble over and lose consciousness. i wake up the next day to rats scuttling
at my feet and me looking outside a jail cell... i then stumble with a lock until i remember i have a lock spell
that of course doesnt work... now sad from the night before i went until the guard comes to take me to his
commander and bash his face on the door cell. i than switch into his clothes praying he hasnt defecated himself.

luckily he defecates after i strip off his clothes! i than leave him in my cell and slowly creep my way up to
the commander. seein as all i have is a shortsword n he has full chainmail and a giant two-ended axe i decide
to free all the prisoners! i am now the new robin hood and make me way to the back of the prison in hopes of
jumping down into the sewer. luckily bein lanky mage comes in handy and i barely manage to scraqe through
the sewer grate into a stream of the worst smelling water you've ever known... upon findin the end into
the nearby lake i use a fire spell to melt the bars (since its not very effective it takes me until night time
before the bars melt).

now back in the world covered in brown and yellow stuff. i smile looking up at the moon, noticing below the
nice frozen tundra of Skyrim!

*be cool if you could melt stuff with flame spells

my first 5 hours in skyrim!!!

what the hell... did I just read...

LOL

i was bored. it was late... lol

Interesting but what's with all the defecating?!

poo jokes not funny?

idk.. when u die you defecate yourself n stuff

Haha, pointless thread is pointless. Or wait, actually it was funny.

meh. thats pretty much what im probably gonna do for the first few hours of the game.. lol i did in oblivion... man those were the days. when killing everyone at your local bar got you recruited into some sweet cult.. ya

no seriously im gonna do that stuff. n than after im gonna walk around everywhere tryin to find dragon shrines n hide from dragons. thats pretty much the whole game for me. n when im done doin that im gna get all the dragons to kill the main army, or whomever is like "we must stop the dragons" (in his arnold voice)

yep, thats my plan. be afraid be very afraid

Alright then.. That was nice.... However does your keyboard have caps lock, or shift???


Also....

:huh: :bonk: Huh?

What is this? I don't even... :huh:

After reading this thread, your intelligence is drained by 5.

Oh, and everyone, if you liked this, click my link. It's another one of his threads posted last night.

I think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCrjLVSapII&feature=related can express my feelings on the matter.

Edited.

Can we cut down on the meanness, people? I think the OP's fanfic is sloppy, too, but there's no need to make fun of the guy.

The OP is creative. I just posted that to counter his imagination.

Write on OP...write on.