Empathy : Othor Games

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:40 am

I have an extreme level of Empathy, and have for almost as long as I can remember. When someone else feels pain, physical or emotional, I often find I can feel exactly what they are feeling. This often makes watching movies or certain tv shows a bit hard, and even listening to music can lead to strange emotions. For example: In comedies, when a character does something extremely stupid, I often have to turn away, because I far to easily put myself in that exact situation, and I know exactly how I"d feel if something like that were to happen to me. In horror movies, I get so close to characters, that if they die, or are feeling extreme fright, it can be a chore to stop myself from turning it off(despite the fact that it doesn't personally make me scared). In Romance/Drama movies, I often come close to tears during very sad moments a character endures(losing a loved one, having the love of their life shatter their heart by telling them they aren't interested, etc), even knowing I probably wouldn't react the same way in real life. I often find myself yelling at the TV when someone is overly obnoxious(example: My wife watches Jersey shore, and some of the stupid crap that goes on in that show, it drives me up the wall, I feel like I want to go through the TV screen and smack them, it's like what they are doing or saying is personal). Music is the same way depending on what it's about, and the general beat/flow/melody of the song. I often find myself getting worked up over other peoples problems in real life as well, as if the hardships they are going through I am dealing with as well.

Does anyone else have problems with extreme amounts of empathy, or am I alone in this? I really wish I could find the off-switch for this, it can be very frustrating to "connect" with EVERYTHING and EVERYONE all the time.

I'm a decent person but I don't think I empathize well with others. I understand their problems in an intellectual way and try to help because it's the right thing to do, but don't literally feel their pain as though it were me own. Guilt plagues me when I act selfishly.

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:30 pm

This thread reflects http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPz1zInEWBU song. If you don't like the sound, http://www.mp3lyrics.org/o/operation-ivy/vulnerability/

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:31 pm

I have an extreme level of Empathy, and have for almost as long as I can remember. When someone else feels pain, physical or emotional, I often find I can feel exactly what they are feeling. This often makes watching movies or certain tv shows a bit hard, and even listening to music can lead to strange emotions. For example: In comedies, when a character does something extremely stupid, I often have to turn away, because I far to easily put myself in that exact situation, and I know exactly how I"d feel if something like that were to happen to me. In horror movies, I get so close to characters, that if they die, or are feeling extreme fright, it can be a chore to stop myself from turning it off(despite the fact that it doesn't personally make me scared). In Romance/Drama movies, I often come close to tears during very sad moments a character endures(losing a loved one, having the love of their life shatter their heart by telling them they aren't interested, etc), even knowing I probably wouldn't react the same way in real life. I often find myself yelling at the TV when someone is overly obnoxious(example: My wife watches Jersey shore, and some of the stupid crap that goes on in that show, it drives me up the wall, I feel like I want to go through the TV screen and smack them, it's like what they are doing or saying is personal). Music is the same way depending on what it's about, and the general beat/flow/melody of the song. I often find myself getting worked up over other peoples problems in real life as well, as if the hardships they are going through I am dealing with as well.

Does anyone else have problems with extreme amounts of empathy, or am I alone in this? I really wish I could find the off-switch for this, it can be very frustrating to "connect" with EVERYTHING and EVERYONE all the time.

No offence to you my friend, but what you have described sounds like the symptoms of post traumatic stress, or high anxiety levels, or even depression. I mean I might be wrong as I only have your post to go on. If you suffer from any medical issues, perhaps you should mention these intense feelings to your doctor. :foodndrink:

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:57 pm

I don't really have empathy for fictional characters in movies/tv, unless they are in a series that I love, then I can cry at times. :cryvaultboy:

Yup, I only get teary eyed if im really into the movie or series, otherwise I see things as "movie, show, characters, made up, fake", and that does nothing to trigger emotions.

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 4:21 pm

To the point that I have known what people are feeling without them showing.
Can be draining, I have been in dance classes where the teacher was in a bad mood, though they were being professional and not showing it, it felt like I had my initially good mood washed away and needless to say I wasn't able to focus on the lesson very well.

I think I can switch off though but I also often "zone out" or block out my surroundings, might be related to that.

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:37 pm

You might be interested in this article about "empathising" and "systemising" brains.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/six/articles/empathising_systemising.shtml

"Systemising" behaviour is traditionally associated with men and "empathising" with women, but it's more like a spectrum with more men being towards the systemising end and more women towards the empathising end.

On the continuum where 0 is the centre and 100 on either side is 100% "female" or 100% "male", I was about 25% female. The average woman is 50% "female" and the average man is 50% "male".

A typical example of how that works out in terms of empathising is that often when a woman is upset in front of a man, he'll just start off rattling suggestions to fix the problem rather than offering a hug or sympathy. Some people find that infuriating. I have that same habit, and if it's my husband who's upset I'll just sit quietly until he's finished ranting before I try to offer a suggestion on how to solve the problem. I'll offer a hug because I know that's what people want a lot of the time, but really I'll just be waiting for them to calm down before we can start logically thinking about how to fix whatever's causing the problem. That's a systemising rather than empathising response.

Hmm, very interesting. Assuming thats a test or what not, I"ll take it shortly. I imagine my results are going to be the opposite of yours, with my leaning heavily towards female side, despite me being a male. Just judging by what you posted, I know I tend to do the exact opposite and try to console or make people feel better by giving them a hug(though I"ll often try to figure out a solution as well)

If I'm watching a television show (generally a comedy), and a character is about to do something stupid, I generally get a feeling like "Man, that really svcks for them." in the back of my head. I've gotten really pissed over certain events in certain games, novels, etc, to a degree where I literally shout at my system in disgust.

Heh, I do that all the time. Hmm, I was watching The final episode of Pokemon: Sinnoh League Victors yesterday(yeah yeah, I watch pokemon and am almost 30), and one of the pokemon started crying because it was upset they were all going their separate ways. Actually made me start to tear up. Hate having responses like that to everything.

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 4:39 pm

I feel really bad for days after I see someone disabled or handicapped, I don't know any of them, but when I see them I just feel so sorry for them and it's all I can think about for ages. I remember seeing a woman with a prosthetic leg limping along in town when I was little, I cried later that day because I felt so bad.

I can still remember her. But I guess I'm just a weirdo. :sadvaultboy:

Edit: As for people I actually know, of course I care but not enough to do anything about their problems. :shrug:

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:21 pm

I've noticed that I'm more empathatic for things in video games(like the portal turrets) than people. But I still try to be a nice guy.

lol Yeah I've always felt a bit sorry for those turrets, poor things.

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 3:16 pm

I lived through a small tornado when my children were toddlers, it ripped up trees, roofs, upturned a car. I had warning, via radio.
One of my neighbors had borrowed some sugar for a baking project, and was bringing over some cake for us.
As he was ringing the doorbell, unaware of the tornado, it came roaring down towards us. I had put my children into a downstairs, understairs, interior walled closet. The tornado sounded like a freight train. I opened my front door, grabbed my neighbor, yanked him in, slammed the door, and pushed him to the floor. Then I hit the deck. I got a look at the damned thing, it was no bigger than a small car, twisting and churning, all over the road like a drunk driver. The damage it did knocked out power and mangled homes.

I don't have to imagine tornados.
But repeatedly going through what those poor people in Tornado Alley have these past few days? Those tornados were HUGE.
I can not only sympthaize, but empathize.

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:38 pm

(yeah yeah, I watch pokemon and am almost 30),

:thumbsup:

» Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:41 am

I can easily empathize with other people's problems and situations, it is just that I don't show it well. I come off as very cold when nothing could be farther from the truth. I suspect it has to do with my upbringing, I was thought from a young age "Men are not supposed to have nor show emotion."

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 11:19 am

I can easily empathize with other people's problems and situations, it is just that I don't show it well. I come off as very cold when nothing could be farther from the truth. I suspect it has to do with my upbringing, I was thought from a young age "Men are not supposed to have nor show emotion."

Ah, I was taught "emotion is indecent and childish".

» Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:05 am

ehh, im a caring person, but i have trouble caring.

i wish i was more empathetic, but i have a hard time caring about "your problem" especially if i have never had one like it.

One or the other please. Either you care or don't care. You can't be both.

And the responses in this thread don't surprise me.

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:53 pm

And the responses in this thread don't surprise me.

I'm sorry.

:celebration:

» Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:17 am

I've generally associated lack of emotion displays , indifference to the predicaments of others with cruel or desensitized people, every time I think of people without emotion I think of the NAZI's