So, after browsing this forum pretty much every day since it's inception, I am reading F on my speculation gauge.

To lighten it up, here are some excepts from the greatest tome in Tamriel, Butha Sunhous' "Jokes"

"How is your wife," asked Zalither.
"She's in bed with laryngitis," replied Harlyth.
"Is that Argonian bastard back in town again?"

An elderly Breton met with an contemporary of his at a guild meeting. "Harryston, old man, I wanted to express my sympathy. I hear that you buried your wife last week."
"Had to, old boy," replied Harryston. "Dead, you know."

Why was the Sentinel army so useless during the War of Betony?
The cannons were too heavy, so all three garbage scows sunk.

What does a new Sentinel private learn first as a combat technique?
How to retreat.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
Redguard Heroes of the War of Betony.

A Dark Elf man killed his wife after catching her making love with another man.
When the magistrate asked him why he killed her instead of her lover, the man replied, "I considered it better to kill one woman than a different man every week."

Here's hoping miss Sunhous has some more material for us in Skyrim, though she would probably be dead there may be a dusty volume laying around somewhere. Until then, lets make our own. I came up with this one a little bit ago and its defintely groan-worthy:

Dovahkiin walks into a tavern and sits down at the bar
the bartender says "what can I get you, dragon-born?"
Dovahkiin shouts "JUS WAH TAH!"


EDIT: If you'd like to read them all, you can find them on the UESPWiki http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Daggerfall:Jokes

Some of them are okay IMO. But this one is quite good. :thumbsup:

A Dark Elf woman was being shown around Daggerfall. When she was shown the magnificent Castle Daggerfall, she smiled sweetly to her guide and whispered, "It reminds me of six."

"That's odd," said her guide. "Why does our Castle Daggerfall remind you of six?"

The Dark Elf sighed, "Everything does."

Here's one from Oblivion (from memory sadly)

Why do Khajit lick their butts?

To get the taste of Khajit cooking out of their mouths"

Taken from Morrowind, from "I'm my Own Grandpa by Gaeldol, the Funniest Wood Elf Ever"

Why did the Dark Elf cross the road?

How many orcs does it take to light a torch?
Depends. Is an orc is doing the counting?

What is green and hops and sizzles on lava?
an Orc Acrobat

If a Wood Elf mime falls in a forest, who cares?

If you drop a Khajiit head-first from a great height, will it land on its feet?
Not if you cut off the feet first.

What do you call an elf born in Morrowind?
-Brothel sprouts.

What's the difference between your job and a Breton chick?
-After two years, your job still svcks.

^

why is everything funnier when you have a mouth full of coffee?

This is my favorite joke in the book "This orchard has sentimental value to me," said Mojhad, the Khajiit, to his friend, Hasillid. "Under that tree, for example, is where I first made love. And that tree, is where her mother stood, watching us."
"She watched you while you made love to her daughter?" said Hasillid, clearly impressed. "Didn't she say anything?"
"Meow."

What do you do if a Bosmer moves in next door...




Why did the Bosmer cross the road...