You don't need to try and "Educate" me, you are the one who needs a bit of educating if you cannot understand competitive gaming.
Flips are stylish, and can make you a harder target to hit. It also increases the skill level for players who want to perform sick moves while shooting enemies. Don't you want to look cool?
You are an amazing comedian or brilliant troll. Don't talk about competitive gaming when you want useless moves to look cool/stylish.
Your suggestions are childish for a someone over the age of 30. If you wanted acrobatics go play a game designed for that, Brink's SMART is a tool for combat, you slide for dodging, you climb for vantage points, none of it is for you to "look cool".