I suppose it's not bad, but the riffs strike me as a bit uninspired and repetitive, the vocals, same thing. It's decent, but in my opinion, not enough variation or interesting things going on. Get some tempo changes (less predictable ones, at least) in there, and definitely stop always doing the same with your right hand - all I see in the first four minutes is your hands going up and down in the same tempo. Again, it's not bad, but it needs work from a compositional viewpoint - at least for me.
Cheers on the feedback..
the footage was from our second and thrid shows and the actual recording from the first 3 months of the bands formation.
the song is definately not intended to be lyric-central, it is a drone and is intended to be repetitive.
We actually are in the studio recording a better version of this, but its hard to get sound engineers to get where we are coming from.- they keep mixingit too brightly. Two Day is mainly about the bass you feel in the live setting. definately have our work cut out translating that to a recording.
We have a bit of a punk rock ethos, bear in mind.
Here is a tune that has a bit more going on in the dynamics department.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdEu5kecWvw
It is a live recording, and is a bit blown out because of the sheer volume.
we have only been together as a band for a little over a year, so im not too confronted.
We have growing to do, but we get asked back to play every venue, so we must be doing something right.
If anyone else is interested, i also have a soundcloud for some lo-fi home recordings that are a completely different beast.
http://soundcloud.com/redken-1
cheers again