The life of a wastelander

Post » Fri May 27, 2011 6:48 pm

This is a not so detailed intro. It doesnt realy tell any major part of the story, but is does establish the character.
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I awoke to some distant shouting. I sat up and peered through the gap between the wood on the wall behind me. In the distance I could see four raiders. They were walking towards the seemingly abandoned housing, where I was. One of the four was tall and slinder, but seemed to be incharge of the group. His loud, high-pitched, screeching voice echoed between the halfe destroyed houses. One was heavy set, carrying a missle launcher and some bags. He was obviously the packmule of the group. The other two were of average build and had some hunting rifles.

I grabbed my sniper rifle from the ground beside me. Now in a crouching possition I stuck the berral of the gun through the gapped wall. I put my cross-hairs on the one carrying a missle launcher. I squeezed the trigger. With an ear-deffening bang, my rifle kicked hard into my shoulder as just milliseconds later the raiders head jolted back with a red misty haze of blood filling the air around him. His body fell to the ground and the leaders voice screeched down the street.
"He's in the two story house, get em!" He commanded.

I scoped out another one, and when my cross-hairs were steady I squeezed the trigger again. *click* . I was out of ammo. I ran over to my bag and grabbed out my 10mm SMG. I slammed a magazine into it, and pulled the action back. The raiders were so close now I could here their footsteps. One ran in the door on the first story below me. BOOM! The bottle cap mine I left at the door burst into a thousand pieces of hot metal shrapnel and tore right through the raider that entered the door.

The second one ran through the door and screamed "Slug Shot! He killed Slug Shot boss!"
"Don't just stand their, kill him! He is up stairs!" the leader Screeched.

I ran to the stairs and aimed my SMG down the to the first story. When the raider ran into view I unloaded five rounds into his torso. His body fell backwords onto a clay plant pot crushing it. I rushed down the stairs looking for the last raider. Instead I saw a hand grenade land not feet from me. Without any hesitation I dove to the right crashing through the decaying wood that made up the wall. As pieces of rotten, and burnt wood fell around me I landed on the ground. Before I could move away the grenade exloded, throwing wood and splinters all over and around me. Slightly dazed I worked my way to my feet. I looked for my SMG but I couldn't find it under the debris. I looked up, as the last raider landed a blow from a tire iron right across my head. I fell to the ground, and couldn't help but let out a shutter of pain. He crouched over me, pulled out a .44 magnum, and put it under my chin, then spoke.

"Hello Jacky! Long time no see. Last we met you killed my other crew. You seem to be good at that, but you never can kill me."
"No, but I got your eye last time." I replied.
With an angry look upon his face, he smacked me upside the head with the .44. He then lifted an eye patch on his right eye. Beneath the patch, was a red inflamed, hole filled with puss that receeded into his head. "Do you know what I am going to do Jacky. Since you tooke my eye, I am simply going to return the favor instead of killing you. I am going to cut out both your eyes, your tongue, and your ears, then I am going to tie a rope around your waist, and lead you through the wasteland as my pet!" He reached back to grab his switchblade. At this time I grabbed my 10mm Pistol from my belt line and stuck it to screechy voiced raiders stomach, and pulled the trigger. He flopped backwards and contorted, doubled over and clinching his stomach. His voice screeched in pain.

"The name is Jack." I exclaimed, "and F&@K you!" I stuck the pistol to his head, right behind the his ear pulled the trigger. With a red ooze, and a jolt of the head, he was dead.
"Pretty sad world we live in, when people blame you for things that are your fault." I said to myself outloud. I looked at the dead raiders body and said "You tried to kill me, and I killed your gang. So you got pissed at me and made it your vendeta to kill me. Where's the logic in that." I laughed a little to myself, then said "Where's the Logic in talking to a dead body."

It is sad, the world we live in. All the simple minded fools just kill each other for sport and illogical conflict. My name is Jack, and this is the world I live in.

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I will add more Later.
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Peter P Canning
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 7:48 pm

I really like it. I saw a few grammatical errors like "their" should be "there." But other than that and some of the ending dialogue which made it sound like an action movie (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), it was well written and enjoyable. I look forward to more.
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Lou
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 1:24 pm

Just as a note, the locations in this story are made up, and it doesn't take place in D.C. Also I had no time to look over this so their might be grammar errors.
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After the encounter, I grabbed my things. I spent a few minutes scrounging for my SMG, but it was no where to be found. I descended what was left of the stair support beams. At the base of the stairs i grabbed the half incinerated hunting rifle, and on my way out the door I also grabbed the other hunting Rifle. I lashed them do my carrying bag. About 200 yards down the road I heard a loud sort of howl. I turned to look back, and a Yau Gui was already scavenging the dead bodies.


A few miles down the road there was a couple meter high rock pile. I quickly scaled to the top, laid on my stomach and peered over the edge to get a hold of my surroundings. I pulled my sniper around and used the scope to look around. To the west, there was a rather large scale battle of giant ants fighting each other.
"Probably colony wars." I said to myself.
To the north east on a highway overpass, some super mutants were establishing a camp. And to the south there was a small caravan of scavengers.

Taking the logical route I went south. After some haggling i got 50 caps for half burnt rifle, and some rad scorpions poison glands that I found a few days ago.
"Do you know witch way the nearest town is?" I asked.
"About a mile south of here. See those hills?" He turned and pointed, "Just follow the path to the southeast."

I followed the road, witch lead to the path. I fallowed the path, witch lead me to super-duper mart. Pondering on why their was a store on a large hill I sat down on an old truck lid from a car.
"Damn! He said their was a town up here. Damn wasteland scavenger!" I pulled out my last bottle of whiskey. I only had half a bottle left. I popped the lid and took a large swig. I put the lid back on. About the time I fastened my side bag, the glare of the sun from the opening super-duper mart door. I looked over, and saw a man with an assault rifle aiming at me. I jumped to the ground on the other side of the truck lid. As I hit the ground gun fire rang out. Bullets bounced off the metal truck lid. Up against the lid I could feel every bullet that hit, and bounced with heavy metallic clang. I grabbed an old rear view mirror, wiped the dirt and stuck the end over the lid.

I saw three men. All were standing side by side, and each had assault rifles. When they all ran out of ammo, they each put in a new magazine, and stood aiming in my direction. The one in the middle, who was slightly balding and wearing a blue button up with dress slacks, spoke out;
"If your alive, come on out, we won't shoot ya any worse than what we have, unless your a raider or a slaver."

I pulled the hunting rifle off my bag, held it halfway up the stock and stuck my arm up to sow no hostility. I stood up slowly, and walked toward them with my hands up. When i got close enough they yanked the rifle out of my hands, and stripped my bags off my persons. When all my belongings were in their possession, one of the men tied my hands together in front of me. They pushed me to the ground and asked;
"Whats your business here?"
"I'm just a waste lander looking to trade, and for a good meal. That's it" I replied.
"[censored]!" said a younger looking man in full denim. "How did you know about the southern path then?"
"It wasn't hard to find. A scavenger pointed it out to me about thirty minutes ago!" I said.
"Gosh Damn it! Henry has been shooting his mouth off again, we should never have told him about it either." said the third man. "Take him to the cell."

I was dragged inside and pushed all the way to the back of the store. On my way I saw that there actually was a small town here. All through out the store, metal shanties, and tents were set up cleverly using the isle shelves for walls. A hundred plus people stopped and looked at me as I was pushed through. When we reached the back I was pushed into an emptied out bathroom with a crude re-bar cell door.

From inside the cell, I watched as the people tore through my stuff, handing everything away. I could do nothing, and i said nothing. They seemed to ignore me for the rest of the day, and at sundown I was given some water, and a plate of mush. It tasted like like horse, sometimes you have to eat what ever you can, but it was a pile of gray soup. Aside from feeding me, I was ignored till morning.




Kaboom! Once again I was awoken abruptly, this time by an explosion. I ran toward the door and looked between the re-bar. Sunlight shined through the wall by the entrance to the store, through a thick cloud of dust. All you could hear was screaming and gunfire. Through the cloud emerged a group of thirty or more men, each heavily armed with Chinese assault rifles or Lazer rifles. Red lines of energy, and orange trails of tracer rounds rang out everywhere. The dust cleared a little more. The men were heavily armored too. Metal armor and surprisingly a couple of power armors.
"How do I get in these situations?" I said out loud to myself. If I had to guess, they were a bunch of Merc's and Brotherhood deserters. Their leader came through last. He wore a red Tesla Power Armor and carried a gattling lazer.

"What am I gonna do now?" I again spoke to myself... to be continued.
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Rachel Tyson
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 7:32 am

Besides a few grammatical thing, it's not bad.

:thumbsup:
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barbara belmonte
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 7:28 am

Its pretty good. You could use some more action in it tough
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neil slattery
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 7:53 am

To the above guy.

Yeah, It is at the point where it gets action packed, but I got booted off my computer, not the lousy to be continued at the end. That is also Why I didn't revise it.
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cheryl wright
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 9:55 pm

Very impressive work you've written ^_^ , I hope in the future you can take care of most, maybe all spelling and grammar errors.
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Sweet Blighty
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 8:06 pm

Hey I really like this fan fiction. Yea you have a couple of grammatical errors but we all know what you are saying. And as for action I think it is at a good balance of action: Theres not too much to the point of it feeling like a non stop action movie and theres not too little of it. I feel there is as much action as there was traveling in the game.
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Amie Mccubbing
 
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