What Jokes Would you like in Skyrim ?

Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 4:39 am

What is the difference between a pair of pants and an Argonian?
A pair of pants only has one fly on it.
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Yvonne
 
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Post » Sun Apr 24, 2011 6:21 pm

A bosmer walks into a morgue....and comes out full :o

Edited for spelling
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Robert Jackson
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 5:15 am

What do you do when your slave escapes?

Go and......khajit.

Why was the quiet woodelf arrested while travelling acorss Tamriel?

He was feeling a little horse..
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CRuzIta LUVz grlz
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:24 am

"I say, I say, I say! My daedroth's got no nose!"
"How does it smell?"
"Awful!"

"I saw a mudcrab the other day!"
"How does it smell?"
"With its nose, obviously."
Descends into fight about whether or not mudcrabs have noses.

"Why did the spriggan cross the road?"
"To avoid your bloody terrible jokes, I imagine."
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Ludivine Dupuy
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 5:11 am

"I saw a dragon the other day. Horrible creatures."
"Nasty things, but I heard the soul's not too bad."
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Symone Velez
 
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Post » Sun Apr 24, 2011 9:22 pm

The passage of time has been severely corrupted, please refrain from using it as a public convenience.
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Maya Maya
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 12:19 am

Oh gotcha. Well I've never played it and no matter where I look I can't find it so that kinda svcks


what??? dude... ebay.. amazon.. craig's list.. you could prolly google it and buy it... and you can buy it digital if i'm not mistaken

it really isnt hard to find. and i greatly advise playing that game. it's a great game :thumbsup:
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QuinDINGDONGcey
 
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Post » Sun Apr 24, 2011 6:47 pm

Male Nord NPC "How do Bosmers survive in life".

Female Nord NPC "What are you talking about, Bosmers can climb trees, talk, eat food".

Male Nord NPC "Yeah but they can't even reach the top of the counter in the general store".

Female Nord NPC "What that's ridiculous I, oh now I get it because they're short".

Male Nord NPC "Exactly the Bosmer can't even reach the countertop, now that is truly sad and funny".



Male Nord NPC "Did you see that High Elf Child yesterday".

Female Nord NPC "Yes I did and I'm impressed at how smart she is"

Male Nord NPC "Did you realize that she's taller then our neighbor Wood Elf".

Female Nord NPC "Haaa isn't he like 50 years old, and the high elf's only what 10 years old and taller then he is".

Male Nord NPC "I know and I'm about to slam it in his face that he is truly a Dwarf".
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Helen Quill
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 3:08 am

God I hope none of these make it in.
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Michelle Serenity Boss
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 6:07 am

"Your mom goes to college."
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Jesus Sanchez
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:28 am

"Your mom goes to college."

Your mom goes to the bards college.

They totally have to get him to act some characters in Skyrim!
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elliot mudd
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 10:33 am

Two Nords heading to the Fighters' Guild. They see a sign outside, 'Three Bosmer wanted for pillage, murder and rapine.' The one Nord turns to the other," Hate them Bosmer, they get all the good jobs."

:rofl: Best. Joke. Ever.
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Smokey
 
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Post » Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:28 pm

Male Nord NPC "How do Bosmers survive in life".

Female Nord NPC "What are you talking about, Bosmers can climb trees, talk, eat food".

Male Nord NPC "Yeah but they can't even reach the top of the counter in the general store".

Female Nord NPC "What that's ridiculous I, oh now I get it because they're short".

Male Nord NPC "Exactly the Bosmer can't even reach the countertop, now that is truly sad and funny".



Male Nord NPC "Did you see that High Elf Child yesterday".

Female Nord NPC "Yes I did and I'm impressed at how smart she is"

Male Nord NPC "Did you realize that she's taller then our neighbor Wood Elf".

Female Nord NPC "Haaa isn't he like 50 years old, and the high elf's only what 10 years old and taller then he is".

Male Nord NPC "I know and I'm about to slam it in his face that he is truly a Dwarf".


:rofl::rofl:
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Jaki Birch
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 3:56 am

I'd like to see a black man in Skyrim...

NPC racist dialogues would be epic!
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Flesh Tunnel
 
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Post » Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:20 pm

Remember Dar Jee in Leyawiin? "I'm a Khajiit in disguise. Want to see me lick my butt?"
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biiibi
 
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Post » Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:44 pm

Didn't read through the entire thread so this might have been used.

"Heard of the loveable Bosmer?"
"No."
"Neither have I"

Also some guards singing the Imperial guard song while breakdancing.
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Lucie H
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:52 am

Remember Dar Jee in Leyawiin? "I'm a Khajiit in disguise. Want to see me lick my butt?"

LOL never Noticed that but he is funny or i did but not Remembered it and Leyawiin is such a poor city

Argonians & Khajiits got Best Jokes
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Matt Gammond
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:28 am

Anything involving wood elves would be funny.
meh bosmers :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
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Marta Wolko
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 3:16 am

I want an NPC to go missing and someone says he "pulled a Jack."
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neil slattery
 
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Post » Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:18 am

Rats and powdered Deer P3nis.

^ this lol Rat ragu with powderd deer [censored]
best thing in oblivion ever also > A Dark Elf man killed his wife after catching her making love with another man. When the magistrate asked him why he killed her instead of her lover, the man replied, "I considered it better to kill one woman than a different man every week."
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Samantha hulme
 
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Post » Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:00 pm

Didn't read through the entire thread so this might have been used.

"Heard of the loveable Bosmer?"
"No."
"Neither have I"

Also some guards singing the Imperial guard song while breakdancing.

LOL
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Sebrina Johnstone
 
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