Chapter 1 (My first story so please give constructive criticism. If you would like me to write more please say so . Thanks )
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The ground trembled beneath my armored boots. The mushroom cloud in the distance could only mean one thing: Raiders had found my secret stash of weapons and armor, including my trusty fatman in the tattered bunker near Raven Rock. I sighed with dismay at the thought of heading there to try and get my gear back. As I had a decent share of caps in my rucksack, I thought maybe I could barter with some trader nearby and fancy my chances with some standard weapon. "The one place no one would ever think to raid!" I muttered in a frustrated tone.

The skies were a charcoal black as I walked cautiously across the baron wasteland. In fact, I wasn't that sure if I would make it through the long night to HQ, so I sent a broadcast to my team back at base. "This is Ashton reporting to Riley, over". I heard a faint crackling sound, then a rough voice I knew only too well. "Ashton, what is your position? Over". I quickly checked my coordinates then gave Riley my position. "Wont be back 'till dawn I'm afraid, got held up by some raiders looting my gear up at old Raven Rock. One of 'em took my Fatman and tested it out on an old truck about a hundred yards from me, over." The crackling came again followed by the same rough voice. "Be careful out there, Ashton. Take refuge in that old mill ? it's just southwest of your location, over." I glanced at my compass and started picking up pace as I made my way briskly towards the mill. As I stumbled aimlessly to towards the mill the lack of sleep subdued my thoughts. Despite the being tired I kept going until reaching the derelict mill. I stepped inside and took a small rolled up mat out of my bag, sealed the bag shut and laid the mat out and set myself on it for the night.

My eyes fluttered, opening and closing as my eyes adjusted to the piercing ray of light through gaps in the door. I sat up for a moment then yawned. As I regained focus of my surroundings I heard voices coming from outside. "Something's in there. I just heard rustling coming from near the door. If it's Ashton or not I'm not sure." I also knew this voice as it was my good friend Jeriah. Just as I was about to make a jokey remark to tell him I was here. he then said "This is Jeriah reporting to talon base. That Ashton bastard is not to be found outside so I'm going to go inside." My mind paused with confusion. I then came back to reality and heard him laugh, then say said " Well if there's a price on his head I'll take him out first, then head back to the ranger compound and take out Riley. In an angry rage I reached for a gun but realized all had been stolen during the raid last night. The only weapon I had on me was a flimsy knife. As I heard him co.ck his gun I quickly headed to the far exit and just as I made my way out I heard the door swing open. I made a run for it. This time I didn't check my compass. I wasn't taking any chances.

Good story so far, nice descriptions. :goodjob:

Chapter 2
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Out of breath, I came to a brief stop and collapsed onto the bonnet of a rusty old car. Did I misinterpret what he had said? Could it all have been a misunderstanding? These thoughts captivated my mind for a good ten seconds as I concentrated on what he had said word by word. No he couldn't have. Not after all we have been through. My mind quickly reverted to a flashback. In it was Jeriah. A skinny tall man with shoulder length iron hair and a rusty coloured stubble. There I stood before him. Me, About a foot shorter than him, a solidly built body with short jet black hair and clean shaven face. "Hey! Slaves aren't allowed to talk in here! Said a slaver. "If I catch you two again I'll feed you limb by limb to the deathclaws! Understood?" Jeriah Smiled, let out a small laugh and shook his head. "Talk is cheap. Especially when a stupid punk like you cant even enforce that on us." "Enough!" said the slaver now writhing with rage. "Bob we got us a few pretty boy rebels here. Talking [censored] about how we can't enforce a good ass whooping." A large man came over to the cage where we were held. "You two sons of [censored]es say another word and I'll enforce my foot up your goddamned asses" said the large man in a grough voice. Jeriah then let out another laugh, walked up to the man and spat through the bar of the cage and hit the large man right in the face with saliva. "You gonna pay for that with your life!" I looked up at Jeriah with a distressed look, he smiled and whispered "Don't worry, keep your cool." The other slaver unlocked the cage and kicked it open. He then menacingly walked over to Jeriah who's arm was firmly by his side. Then all I saw was Jeriah's hand move up and blood spewed out of the slaver. Jeriah, splattered with the slavers blood and wielding a knife smiled, looked at the slaver and said in a calm voice "Now its your turn." The large man ran off shouting for help from nearby slavers like a squealing pig that was just about to be slaughtered. "Lets move! Jeriah shouted." Stunned by the whole event I unthinkingly followed his orders and followed him, hearing gunshots whirl past our heads.

"Ashton! Hello is anyone there?" Then I came back to reality. It was the crackling of the radio again" I quickly responded: "Riley is that you?, over " "Yes it's me and I had been trying contact you for about 10 minutes, over." "Im heading back to base, I will explain everything when I get there' over." I put my radio back on my belt, looked at my compass and sprinted back to the base without looking back.

It's okay. Not great, but okay. You have good spelling and grammar, but it's simply way too short. You have a few mistakes, such as capitalization, but nothing major. One thing I'd like to point out is that, with speech, you generally make a new paragraph every time someone new speaks. Also, the generally followed rule is that you only post one chapter a day. It allows for people to keep up with the story easily. However, since this is so short, there isn't really much harm done.