I tried these:
-the Ring of Console or whatever mod
-pressing `
-slapping my computer
But console still won't open up. Any ideas?

Is it the Steam or retail version?

Open Documents/My Games/Oblivion and open up Oblivion.ini and make sure that "bAllowConsole" is set to 1 and not 0. Change it to 1, see if it helps.

Review the 'General Information' section of this link: http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:Console

Note in particular whether you have enabled the console in the ini file and whether you are using an infrared remote reciever.

Hope something in there helps!

Are you using Vista? i had that problem a while ago and it was because of my Vista. You need some program thing from Microsoft i think.

My older puter was Vista. The new one is Sevin. I simply enabled the code in the ini like UESP says and never ever had a problem with the console on either machine. When this subject has arisen before (many times), plenty of Vista users come up and say they have no problems.

It's mostly the people who purchased a version of Vista bundled with Windows Media Center who suffer from this.

I can't say for sure, though, since I skipped Vista.

I had this. I always thought it was my keyboard since whenever I pressed ' it would appear as a colon. I recently got a new Keyboard, but I haven't played Oblivion since, so I don't know.

However, I run Vista with Media Center on it, so I think it's that.

EDIT: Just played Oblivion, and it was my keyboard. The console opens fine now.