I used http://knotstheinane.blogspot.com/p/oblivion-modding-guide.html guide as a guideline, and it worked wonders, definitly the best I've found for walking you through the installs and mod lists. Its not an absolute though, you can install many other mods that will be compatible, just make sure to read the ReadMes.
http://sites.google.com/site/ballofflame/balloffire%27soblivionmodlist list is also very good, there are some incompatibilities, unstable and outdated mods, so be careful. (Then again, this was a few months ago when I installed all my mods, I rushed through and didnt read the ReadMes, so that was probobly my own fault). You can also check out the http://betteroblivion.com/alist.php mod lists, but I have never used it so I can`t comment on its usefullness. For FCOM, http://devnull.sweetdanger.net/convergence.html is a fairly good guide, but a little out of date I believe so it won`t replace the current ReadMes. After all that, just take a few hours and browse the various sites with lists of mods, occasionally you find that hidden gem.
One last thing, I can`t stress enough how important it is to
read every ReadMe! It will save hours in headaches.