» Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:15 am by caramel_cod (Real name- Caramellious Thaddius Coddington)
On the frigid island of Solstheim some time in the early 4E 200s, a young man by the name of Manheim was born to a Nord father and an Imperial mother. His birth, like all that took place in Solstheim, Cyrodiil and Morrowind for centuries, was tumultuous due to the dreaded "Esrb's Plague," which had newborns being birthed fully-grown (they say Skyrim is free from this plague, and that children there are born with supernatural hardiness). His mother was left paralyzed from the waist down as a result.
As a child-man, Manheim spent his days studying the arts and literature, a pastime his mother encouraged. He read legends that inspired him as a fledgeling warrior; legends of powerful Nords who battled entire armies with their mighty fists. Legends of the Champion of Cyrodiil, who defeated the dread Mehrunes Dagon by ferociously punching his right shin. And legends of the Dunmer Nerevarine, who destroyed the mighty heart of Shor with a single, almighty punch. These were the men Manheim modeled himself after, forging a pair of mighty fists in his teenaged years, in hopes of crafting his own legend.
As an advlt, Manheim traveled to Bruma in Cyrodiil, where he met the lovely Aritha Supple-briasts, known for her incredible cooking. They spent many years living comfortably near the Cyrodiil- Skyrim border, until one tragic day when Aritha was mauled to death by a passing bear, which had been lured to their home by a pie sitting on the windowsill. Manheim, enraged by the sight of his wife's buxom corpse, tracked down the furry murderer and strangled it to death with its own intestines.
Distraught and crippled by loneliness, Manheim wandered Tamriel aimlessly before arriving in Elsweyr, where he spent five lazy years living amongst the rich skooma barons of Corinthe. It was here that he developed a relationship with a young dunmer servent girl named Delni Dran, whose parents had been murdered by khajiit bandits after seeking refuge in the city. To free Delni, Manheim cleverly slipped some skooma into the barons' evening banquet, then proceeded to beat the defenseless and addled khajiits into unconsciousness with his mighty fists. The two escaped Corinthe and headed north, through Cyrodiil and into Hammerfell.
Choosing to seek refuge in the port city of Rihan, Manheim and Delni hoped to eventually move further north into High Rock. They lived there for months, doing odd jobs for a handful of absurdly passive townsfolk. One day, the two were accosted by a rambling redguard priest as they returned home from the fish market. After subduing the contentious clergyman with a pummeling, Manheim listened to a story that would change the course of his destiny.
The old priest told Manheim of men from Skyrim, the homeland of his people; men who could fight without blade, mace or, to Manheim's astonishment, their fists! Yes, these paradigms of manhood could fight with words alone, summoning blasts of fire and wind, even controlling the sky itself! Manheim had heard of these men before, he vaguely remembered hearing obscure tales of them as a child. Leaving Delni in the care of the babbling prophet, Manheim headed for Skyrim.
After days of travel by carriage, Manheim arrived in the Nordic city of Falkreath, near the Hammerfell border. What Manheim did not know, was that Skyrim's population had been free from the Esrb's Plague since the dawn of the Fourth Era, and thus included children. Ignorant of this fact, Manheim attempted to browbeat a small, annoying begger child, whom he had mistaken for a typical Bosmer. The guards of Falkreath arrested him and, charging him with attempted child murder, sent him to his execution.
And thus, the story of Manheim Manfists came to a close. Or did it? The priest in Rihan prophesied that Manheim would become a great hero in Skyrim, only time will tell if he ever got his chance.
I laughed!
I cried!
