A Bullet to the Brain Drives a Man Insane

Quick Note: This fan fic is not completely canon and I have even taken the liberty of adding additional things considering that this particular fan fic is set after the events of FO: NV. Furthermore I would like to apologise for some small inconsistencies that, for the most part, you may not even notice. The reason for these inconsistencies is that I am writing all of this with absolutely no rough copy or plan so I am just making up stuff as go along, so I ask rather than flaming me, if you could just tell me and I will edit the mistakes out.

Chapter 1: The Evolution of an Old Friendship

“Whoa, take it easy now.” Were the earliest words he had ever heard, the first sentence actually. Well, besides the word ‘Lucky’ playing over and over again in his head like a broken record in an unfamiliar but an oddly comfortable voice. He seemed to be able to speak perfectly fine; in fact, he was quite articulate for a man with a serious case of Amnesia oh and not to mention the bullet hole in his head. But regardless of how firm his grasp was of the english language he could not, for the life, of him remember his own name so he took up the label of Lucky, it seemed to suit him anyway considering he would always slip out of the worst situations with little to no effort whatsoever it’s a wonder he got shot in the first place.

But it’s been a long, long, long time since he heard those first words and he has come a long way indeed. Since then Lucky had brought peace and contention to all in New Vegas and had even restored to its http://fallout.gamesas.com/images/art/falloutnvconcept/concept02B.jpg all with the help of Yes Man. Lucky simply didn’t know what he would do without him, he was a special kind of robot.

The year is now 2321 and New Vegas was once again a bustling tourist and cap trap. The currency check to gain entrance to the city is now but a distant memory I mean, who cares if they’re a few caps short? As long as they’re willing to waste it all at our casinos who cares? Lucky had changed a massive amount since he first began his journey in the wasteland more mentally than physically. Lucky was in his late sixties but was looking pretty damn good for his age, he had long almost jet-black hair that was pushed back behind his head and his ears, blue eyes and a slight amount of stubble growing but he was still well groomed. A strange thing about Lucky is that you'd only ever see him in either a suit or a tailor made suit of armour made out of individual metal plates of steel, it was quite heavy but Lucky didn't mind.

Lucky now ran small errands around the wasteland for Yes Man and Himself just for the fun of it since he wasn’t a big drinker there was really nothing to do in Vegas because he had already seen and done everything and there was no use in gambling because any money he lost would end up back in his pocket regardless. He was bored all the time and needed the extra kick he got from blowing someone’s face off with Abigail, his custom-made double barrel shotgun. Lucky was a sadistic and somewhat disturbed person because of what he had seen while working for the legion undercover he was also forced to commit unspeakable acts of cruelty towards men, women and children alike, how this isn’t affect the other legionaries he would never know.

It was about 9 AM when Yes Man asked for an audience with Lucky, who said he had an important errand for him to run so Lucky quickly got dressed, had some breakfast and retrieved Abigail before heading out the door of The Ultra-Luxe, which he owned. The walk to the Lucky 38 was much shorter now that all of the walls dividing the now massive sections had been removed, but Lucky oddly missed them. When Lucky reached the Lucky 38 he was greeted by Victor as usual and then was again greeted by him at the elevator which lead up to the penthouse where Yes Man resided.

“Ahhhhh, Hello Lucky! How nice to see you!” Said Yes Man in his irritatingly cheerful voice that creeped Lucky out strangely.

“Nice to see you to Yes Man, so you have a job for me?” Replied Lucky. He was lying, as much as he liked Yes Man one can only take so much of him.

“Yes I do, I need you to go to the ruins of Boulder City and do a drug deal with the Khans, Gomorrah seems to be running low lately.” Demanded Yes Man.

“Doesn’t Gomorrah have their own lap dog for this kind of job?” Lucky was slightly suspicious now since Gomorrah almost never trusts anyone else with their drug-running duties because they're a bunch of greedy bastards. Somethings going on here. Thought Lucky.

“Well yes but – Oh look, are going to do the job or not?” Replied Yes Man in a suddenly not so cheery tone which scared Lucky quite a lot.

“Fine I’ll see you soon.” Said Lucky in extremely agitated voice just before storming out of the Lucky 38 with his fists clenched and gritting his teeth. A little shotgun therapy is in order so lets hope that some pesky band of raiders tries to mess with me on my way to this deal. Thought Lucky to himself.

Well congrats on your first fanfic Fallout, looks amazing I'm a little pressed for time, but would you allow me to just offer a little criticism? The constructive variant.

Skipping the minor grammatical problems of the story, which there are a few, your character seems interesting.

If you truly make him a sadist, people might have a hard time connecting with him and I think being able to relate to the characters in some way, is vital in a story. You could this in a variety of ways; adding character flaws is one. Like anger, greed, fear, etc. Makes him easier to connect to.

Maybe you were already planning something like this, maybe he truly isn't a sadist. I'm just saying that if down the road he's a bad ass you just kills people with custom made shotgun, just because, I might have hard time understanding Lucky and may not care about him at all. Food for thought.

Last thing. Be careful about your dialogue tags. Stuff like; yelled, laughed, whispered, etc. Things that come after the dialouge, those should mainly be "said and asked", because you shouldn't need the extra explanation. This is not always the case, there needed to clear up confusion, but they should be sprinkled throughout, not heavily used.

At any rate, I'm no expert, so please feel free to disregard anything and everything that I say, I'll still read

Thankyou very much, I appreciate your criticism and Im glad you still enjoyed it regardless of my many grammatical errors, its just that this part was very rushed because I wanted to get as much of the little details out of the way as quickly as possible which caused it all not to fit very well but trust me when I say, the next chapter will be much better. With your thoughts regarding my character I know what you mean by it being hard o connect to him if he is a sadist and I shouldve explained it a little clearer. He is not as much of a sadist as he is a man with sadistic desires and temptations, however he is definitely a very angry man and likes to take out his anger on helpless individuals and this will tie into his past in the legion and even before that which you will learn about later on.