Son of the North
By Bob Tom

Chapter one
Purple visions

Why can't I can't stop thinking about that damn roof? I mean [censored], if I could just go get some scrap metal from the Poseidon next door then I could patch up those holes dropping smudge on me right now.
Ahh what am I thinking? Ryan is just going to tell me to stay put for the rest of the night while those things prowl...zombies maybe? Hell they look like ghouls ugly step sister but even zombies might be to generous towards them.

Damn it Rick, get back on focus! Who cares what those ogre things are you have a roof to fix and you didn't travel all this way to sit in some decaying bookstore.
“Hey Ryan!”

I could tell before he opened his dirty rotten mouth he was going to get smart with me and like always he followed through.

“Damn it Rick! You don't have to [censored] yell! I'm right here!”

Uhhh breathe Rick, breathe. You've dealt with worse [censored]s in Boneyard...then again I could always just beat them with a wrench for conflict resolution. To be truthful I don't know what this guys deal is but from the moment I laid eyes on his gray haired fat ass I knew we wouldn't get along.
“Ignoring your bad attitude I've got some business to attend to. The monsters are dead, and this [censored]in' roof is driving me crazy. If you need me I'll be next door getting some supplies and things.”

“What are you a shopping mom or some [censored]? Sit your happy ass down before those things kill you.”

“Wow Ryan I didn't know you cared about the kid so much.”

That was Steve, every time there was a conflict Steve had to instigate. Between Steve and Ryan I swear I've come 5 seconds away from committing murder 4 times, well this time makes it 5.

I turned towards the bunk bed were Steve was lying to stared at him in the eyes.

“Steve, if you say one more damned thing I swear on my dead mothers grave I will beat you senseless.”

Steve and I just stood in there in a conflict over a damn hole in the roof. After 5 seconds or so Steve decided he wanted to test how serious I was.

“[censored] yo dead mama.”

Steve tried to return back to his comfortable position on his mattress when I lodged my foot into his jaw. Before his small brain could develop a response my left fist was embedded in his nose and he was pushed against the wall. Steve tried his hardest to turn around but blow after blow had taken the wind out of him and the force of my fist was keeping him in his place.
The only thing that saved Steve that night was Ryan and Hank pulling me off of him.

“CALM YO ASS DOWN RICK!” the behemoth Hank shouted in my ear.

Rick don't resist, this is for the best. Besides you would of killed Steve if that went on for a moment longer, just listen to the guy.
“Owhh my face!”

See
Ryan and Steve sat me down on my smudge covered couch and I was quickly reminded how all of that started to begin with.

I'm still going to get that damn roof cover if it kills me and I'll be damned if Ryan and Hank will stop me.
“God Rick, you could of killed Steve what were you thinking?!” Hank somehow managed to get out of his beard. If I put him in some red he'd look like a Santa Claus that had picked up some weight.

“I told him not to say anything else and he didn't listen.”

In that moment I glanced down and for the first time all night became aware my fist were bleeding.

Damn Rick you really outdid yourself this time. Wai- damn your knuckles are bleeding and the supply of stimpaks just ran out last week. Who used them all up anyway? O yeah that Donald guy.
Ryan and Steve went back to their respective mats and Steve rolled in pain on his bed.

Get up Rick and leave, if anyone tells you to go kill um. Hell it wouldn't be that hard anyway. Hank was to big to even run faster than 6 miles per hour.
I grabbed my bag only to wipe the goo from it onto the equally soiled couch. As I stood up and made my way to the door Ryan got up.

“Maggot, you ain't leaving this safe house.”

Rick don't do it. I know you want to choke him just like you choked Donald but don't. Just leave just...ahh [censored] it one less [censored] is one better world.
“Ryan, I'm going to let you know this right now. I'm going to do whatever the hell I please. To be honest nothing you say can change my mind. I don't care if you lose more pay if I die, I don't care if I [censored] die. Don't you get this yet?”

“Rick, you aren't leaving this safe house, because I'm not losing more pay.”

Ryan walked over to me, fist clenched, yellow teeth gritted, thinking I was going to back down.

What a fool
“Magg-”

I didn't let him finish his thought. With the full force of my left fist I punched him in his stomach and followed up with a sturdy kick to the groin. I normally reserve those “below the belt” hits for life threatening situations only but for [censored]s like Ryan I tend to make exceptions.

Ryan fell to the ground in a heap of pain and I partially empathized with him. Ryan may be an [censored] but I'm not going to pretend like I'm not one either. Ryan was only wearing Brahmin skin pants and most likely 200 year old underwear, given the massive amount of force I put into my knee it is likely he'd bleed out pee for days.

Hank pretended like he didn't see any of that and kept on fake sleeping; [censored].

Smart move fat man.
I walked out the grimy room and strode down the rotted out stairwell. That bookstore was actually a good resting place; besides the occupants and leaking roof of course, but the further downstairs I got the more pitch dark it got.

Damn at least those [censored]s upstairs have some kerosine lights.

As soon as I stepped onto the front floor I tripped on one of the troll things from before.

“DAMN IT!”

I wasn't really mad at the dead beast, but more so the new layer of goo that now covered my whole body. I guess it was just my day to stay in a constant state of grimness. I put my hands on the things chest and gave it a good college try to stand up only to find that my hands weren't coming along.

“THE [censored]?!”

My hands slowly sank into the purple goo mass.

Well Rick there is nothing you can't solve with a good; PUNCH TO THE FACE!
I tried removing my left hand to return it down in anger but my arm just got further engulfed in the carcass.

Umm this actually isn't that bad...in fact the goo kind of feels nice..wait stop Rick focus!

For about 30 minutes I sat at the base of stairs pulling and tugging the dead body trying to free my hands but only got my left knee, whole right arm and somehow neck stuck.

Rick...just go get help.

I've always hated it when violence can't solve something but now I was crawling back up to the stairs to the people I hated too. I'm not sure if this is karma or just [censored].

Step by step I made it up the stairs with my new purple friend and step by step I grew more humble in preparation for the [censored]storm I was going to have to face.

After probably 2 minutes of climbing I made it to the second story of the safe house. Entering the room I could quickly tell everyone was really sleep this time...or at least passed out from the pain. I glanced back at the mutant monster thing still svck on body and started to feel myself lose consciousness.

[censored] no reason to wake them up now, as good time as ever to sleep I guess.

My sleep didn't go as expected. I was half way through a dream about motor boating President Tandi on a flying bull when some mist fell on my forehead.

“Tandi?”

I opened my eyes only to see the same purple ogre from before staring me in the face.

“Hello beautiful.”

I threw up my head to headbutt the arbitration when it came snapping back down to the wooden floor.

[censored], my neck is still attached.

On first look these ogre things didn't seem to have this large level of...sophistication. With 4 eyes vertically alined where their face belonged and extremely soft skin they didn't cry out world class killing machine. And when I say soft I mean it, I mean softer than Pre-War jello. Where ever these things came from they were smart enough to play dead.

“GUYS HELP OUT OVER HERE!”

That shout just made the ogre more disturbed and it began svcking the water and protein out of my body. No one ever needs to go through that, but if you want to know what's it like go stab yourself, while punching yourself, while getting mutilated and you'll come half way to what I felt.

But it's weird while it was taking all my energy I felt that massive amount of pain but was also at peace; with myself and it. Lucky that haphazard peace wasn't to last. Hank got to his feet and retrieved his hunting rifle.

“[censored] you ogre,” was all I had to say before the sound of the rifle rang in my ears.

The ogre fell to the ground next to me; all four of its eyes staring at me in a listless gaze. Hank walked over and helped me up.

“You realize we've got a war now, right?”
“I kind of.”

Hank handed me a pistol and I dug through my backpack for some ammo while covering him as we made our way onto the roof. As soon as I got on the roof I was pelted by the heavy black rain that continuously falls in Portland. In the distance the radiation blasted ruins of the city were non-visible due to the fog, but the ogres were very visible. In the dead trees, on the street below, on the burned out cars, on the Poseidon Gas Station stood and waited the purple demons of death.

To bad for them I just [censored] death for breakfast, [censored] chaos for lunch and drank some kickass after dinner.