The "Beginning"

Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 12:34 pm

Prologue: The End and the Beginning

After the end of the conflict in Anchorage, Alaska, the countries, The United States and People's Republic of China; decided that war was pointless and they settled their differences. Though not for very long?.

As Billy and Susie walked down D.C's empty streets, they noticed how alone they were. "Billy, I'm scared, where is everyone?" asks Susie as she clings to his arm, "I don't know, let's check out the bar over there. There has to be people there, I mean, its Friday night after all." Says Billy as he opened the door for Susie.

They walked into the bar and were greeted by dozens of voices screaming. Billy could hear people yelling about China dropping the bombs. "Oh my God, they did it. They actually did it!" screams a woman running to her car, "hurry, and get to the Vaults. I've heard they are letting some more people in.
Susie's hand now clenched tightly to Billy's arm, knuckles turning white. They looked at each other and saw on the still functioning television an atomic bomb exploding in the center of New York. "Billy, come on. There might still be time, let's go to Vault 27, my parent's will be there and you can join us, please." says Susie as Billy started to run towards the parking lot.

They drove for over an hour towards the Springville meeting area. They arrived and met Susie's parents, "Susie, Billy, over here!" yell Susie's Father as they began to proceed into the buses going to the Vaults.
"Dad, we have to take Billy with us. He can't leave him to die." begs Susie as she continues to cling to Billy's arm. Her father slowly shakes his head, "We can't take him. He isn't family, only family can enter the Vaults there isn't enough room." Sighs Susie's father as he climbs into the bus.

"Look, you have to leave. I'm going to be fine, but you have to leave." Says Billy as he pushes Susie onto the bus. As the bus drives away, Susie catches a glimpse of Billy's tear-streaked face."No, I won't leave him!" yells Susie. "No, wait!"shouts her father as she jumps.

Well, there it is the beginning of what I hope becomes a good story.
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maya papps
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:05 pm

Prologue: The End and the Beginning

After the end of the conflict in Anchorage, Alaska, the countries, The United States and People's Republic of China; decided that war was pointless and they settled their differences. Though not for very long?.

As Billy and Susie walked down D.C's empty streets, they noticed how alone they were. "Billy, I'm scared, where is everyone?" asks Susie as she clings to his arm, "I don't know, let's check out the bar over there. There has to be people there, I mean, its Friday night after all." Says Billy as he opened the door for Susie.

They walked into the bar and were greeted by dozens of voices screaming. Billy could hear people yelling about China dropping the bombs. "Oh my God, they did it. They actually did it!" screams a woman running to her car, "hurry, and get to the Vaults. I've heard they are letting some more people in.
Susie's hand now clenched tightly to Billy's arm, knuckles turning white. They looked at each other and saw on the still functioning television an atomic bomb exploding in the center of New York. "Billy, come on. There might still be time, let's go to Vault 27, my parent's will be there and you can join us, please." says Susie as Billy started to run towards the parking lot.

They drove for over an hour towards the Springville meeting area. They arrived and met Susie's parents, "Susie, Billy, over here!" yell Susie's Father as they began to proceed into the buses going to the Vaults.
"Dad, we have to take Billy with us. He can't leave him to die." begs Susie as she continues to cling to Billy's arm. Her father slowly shakes his head, "We can't take him. He isn't family, only family can enter the Vaults there isn't enough room." Sighs Susie's father as he climbs into the bus.

"Look, you have to leave. I'm going to be fine, but you have to leave." Says Billy as he pushes Susie onto the bus. As the bus drives away, Susie catches a glimpse of Billy's tear-streaked face."No, I won't leave him!" yells Susie. "No, wait!"shouts her father as she jumps.

Well, there it is the beginning of what I hope becomes a good story.

This is pretty good I am looking forward to reading more
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Astargoth Rockin' Design
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 6:51 pm

A bit conflicting with the lore and there's a few grammar issues but apart from that, it looks interesting.
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Christie Mitchell
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:57 am

ok, any advice? Hoping yall are liking it. A bit boring at first, im going to spruce it up
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BlackaneseB
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 6:50 am

Chapter 2: Consequences

As the bus began to pull away, Susie tore away from her father and leapt from the bus. She ran back towards Billy, "No, Billy, I'm not going to leave you. I love you." says Susie as she hugs Billy close. "We can still go to another Vault or maybe a bunker?" asks Susie as she looks into Billy's eyes.

"Yeah, course we can, me and you forever." says Billy as they ran toward their car. They hopped in and drove towards Billy's house. "Wait, what are we doing? I thought we were going to a Vault?" asks Susie. "We are, but first we have to go to my house, grab some food and weapons." explained Billy as he turned the corner, the streets now empty. "I have to be able to protect us and my dad has an assault rifle and pistol under his bed."

Billy steered his car through the streets dodging cars and looters. "Man, it is really getting out of hand." says Susie as they pull up on the driveway of Billy's home, "do you think that?your dad got out?" asked Susie, "Yeah, he should be ok, he is with the Guard and should be well protected." Says Billy as they left the car. "But just in case we will leave a note."

They entered the house and checked the rooms, making sure that all the rooms were clear. They began to gather things for their travels; Billy grabbed his radio and turned it on. "Everyone, please stay calm. The Chinese have launched bombs towards our country and will strike our cities in a matter of hours." Susie glanced up from her packing to notice the surprised look on Billy's face.

"Oh my God, they? how could they do this?" asked Billy as he slowly sat on a stool. "Don't they know what will happen?"
Susie walks over to the counter, putting her arm around him saying, "I know it's hard, but we have to go." She says as she pulls Billy up, "Now where are the guns?

They walked upstairs and as Billy opened the gun safe, Susie changed into jeans and a t-shirt. When they had the guns they ran back to the car and drove, they didn't know where, but they drove.
They drove till the car ran out of gas, taking them to an area where the looting was heavy. As they walked toward an area where there was supposed to be a bunker, a man jumped from the shadows.


Ok here is the next one, still a bit slow. there will be action in the next chapter.
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Gill Mackin
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 10:01 pm

ok guess no one likes the story so im not going to finish it. Can a Moderater lock it or something please?
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Dj Matty P
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:53 am

Its not that we like it, its just the sense of repetitive Fan-fics and RP's.

There was Richard greeves and a few other pre-war RP's. We all want something unique. ( Invisible Faction by Francois)

The Vault RP I started is dead so screw that..............


You need to meet the demands of the people.
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Motionsharp
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:05 pm

ok guess no one likes the story so im not going to finish it. Can a Moderater lock it or something please?


Give it chance, early days yet as it hasn't been on the forum long enough for everyone to have a look, read through and comment. I will close it if you really want that but from what I have read it's OK so far. :)
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Isabel Ruiz
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:58 pm

dont close it yet. for all we know you could be an expert writer and not even know it. its worth trying to finish the story.
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Loane
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:56 am

I agree. You should keep posting... this seems interesting!
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Tiff Clark
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:50 am

dis relly guud :)
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Matthew Aaron Evans
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:22 pm

all right ill give it another shot thanks everyone :hugs:
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Chris BEvan
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 10:53 am

Chapter 3
The Bunker:

"Ahhhhh!!!" screams Susie as a man jumps from an empty alley, brandishing a pistol. "Look, um... You're going to give me all your things, NOW." Says the man pulling back the slide on the pistol, "you're also going to give me the girl." says the man with an evil grin.

The man begins to walk forward, holding his hand out. Billy slowly grabs his hand and twists it around the man back, snapping his arm in half, "Ahhhh, my arm you ******, ah my arm!!!" cries the man as he falls to the ground, "I'm sorry, please, no more." asks the man. Billy drops the man's arm as he curls up in a ball, crying.

Billy walks over to Susie, took her arm and led her away from the scene. As they walked away, Susie looks into Billy's face and notices that he is grimacing in pain. "Billy, what's wrong?" asks Susie as she stops him.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong." says Billy as he begins walking into an abandoned house. "Wait, I know something is wrong." Says Susie as she sits him down. She checks him over, poking his arms and chest.

"Ow, not there, bit sore." Says Billy as his head slips forward and he falls to the ground. "No, Billy no!" screams Susie as she grabs him. "No, don't leave me!"


A bit short, but the next chapter will be up soon.
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Shianne Donato
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 3:12 pm

Seems fairly good so far. Im just wondering how Billy knows how to fight, and why his house would be filled with guns O.o

Other then that, this is the first Fallout story I have actually read instead of just skimming through.
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Samantha Wood
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:54 pm

[quote name='Mr.Boom' date='Aug 16 2009, 11:53 PM' post='14909091']
Seems fairly good so far. Im just wondering how Billy knows how to fight, and why his house would be filled with guns O.o


Im pretty sure that in the 2 chapter i said that his dad was in the army, so thats how.
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CxvIII
 
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Post » Tue Nov 29, 2011 4:31 pm

Chapter 4

Billy woke several hours later on a Vault issue cot, looking around the room he notices Susie on the couch. "Susie, wake up. Where are we?" he asks pulling his pistol out of his holster.

"Your awake, that's great the doctor said you wouldn't wake for another day or so." Says Susie as she sits up. "I thought I lost you, we were found by a Marine patrol and they brought us here." she said as she stood up and hugged Billy. She then helped Billy walk out of the room, down the hall and to the Overseer's office.

"Ah, welcome! We were wondering when you would wake up." Says the Overseer as he walks around from his desk and shakes Billy's hand. "Please sit down, relax. We need to go over some things." They talked for more than an hour, discussing where they were and what they would have as they're jobs.

"So, Billy, I'm guessing you are a soldier?" asked the Overseer, "The way you carry yourself and use weapons, so I'm going to make you a security officer?and Susie, you're going to be a nurse." Said the Overseer, walking over to his locker and pulled a stack of papers out, shuffling them around he pulled two out and gave them to Billy.

"Here are your room assignments and your requisition papers for your armor and weapons." Says the Overseer, "Report to the head Vault security officer and?"
A Vault security burst through the door, "Sir, we have a problem. There are rioters outside the Vault door they broke through!" says the officer, "We have four men down and they're about to reach the atrium, what are your orders?"

"Take all your men to the atrium and lockdown the living quarters. We can't allow them to reach the people there!" yells the Overseer, grabbing armor and a pistol out for Billy while fastening a revolver to his waist. "Billy, come with me and help us hold them off." said the Overseer while running out the door.

Grabbing his assault rifle, he ran down the corridor and reached the Overseer. "What do I need to do?" asked Billy

Turning toward him, the Overseer explained the need to hold this area, just as the door exploded.

"Oh,[censored]!"

So here it is. This is the second to last chapter. Hoping yall like it
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Ross Thomas
 
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