Concern: The 1st edition Pocket Guide describes Cyrodiil as lush in culture and climate. Then why in Oblivion did we get a generic renaissance-faire-y fantasy riff?

Handwave: Talosian Chimerastatic Shock caused by the Oblivion crisis and subsequent Dracolytic event at the Temple of the One. In essence, the Cyrodiilic eco-cultural-subgradient solidified into a more stable, durable form as part of an autonomic knee-jerk response to space and time being so severely dikeied with. And nothing is more durable than time-honored clichés.

Concern: How was Mankar Camoran able to wear the Amulet of Kings? I though only the Dragonblooded/Septims were able to wear it.

Handwave: Anyone could actually wear the Amulet, but only those of the Septim blood could manipulate the clasp on its chain (which was enchanted by Zurin Arctus himself). This is why it slid off the neck of the Champion of Cyrodiil when he inevitable tried to wear it to get free drinks at the Feedbag. Mankar solved this problem by tying the ends of the chain together with twine.

Handwave Addendum: To be fair, though, it was Daedric twine.

Concern: Why doesn't the Bruma Mage's Guild ever stop burning?

Handwave: As a memorial to those who had fallen (and subsequently risen!) in the struggle against the necromancers, the Mage's Council converted the actual fire into a building-wide eternal flame to honor their sacrifice.

More to come! But please, contribute your own!

Are these handwaves supposed to be serious or funny?

The latter obviously.

Though the whole Cyrodiil turning from jungle to as-it-is-in-Oblivion, is a retconn, not a inconsistency.

I was under the impression Cyrodiil was a rainforest. Like America's "temperate" rainforest before all trees were chopped down for cattle pastures. Or did PGE_1 actually mean tropical? It still gets pretty hot and humid north of Cancer. South of Capricorn for upside-down players.

Amulet. Wearing. Mankar Septim. Martin Camoran
Sean Stamp and Terence Stewart and Patrick Bean

These were originally called Weaslings.

http://www.imperial-library.info/content/dog-ate-my-homework

Here is another one:

On the question why Akatosh would first save the world, only to eat it as Alduin. The answer is obvious here, he's saving his lunch.

(TES "weaselings" are fun to read)

Another one:

Every time something completely out of place pops up like say the Ideal Masters. Left over bits from a previous Kalpa! :toughninja:

You heard it here first, kiddies. The Oblivion crisis was a diversion. Dagon's real goal was smuggling in kalpic leftovers.

Why are there never any bathrooms?

Mortals are possibility diode terminals. Pure existence comes down from Aetherius in the form of sunlight, nourishes plants, which nourish animals (intermediary possibility capacitors). Humans consume these capacitors, and then decide IS IS NOT, transferring possibility into non-existence. In short: all the poop goes straight to Oblivion. This is also how Malacath ended up being a daedric prince.

Why weren't there any children in past Elder Scrolls games?

Time-traveling Thalamor agents are ruthlessly efficient.

Why was Mehrune's realm, previously described as being an infinite dead forest, transformed into a lava pit?

One stray fireball. Remember kids, only you can prevent forest fires.

This has far-reaching implications. Nirna results from the interplay of Anu and poop. Lorkhan is the soul of poop. The Dark Brotherhood are poop-worshipers (coprolatrists). Tamrielic Archaeologists may one day unearth (unNirn? :teehee: ) ancient, pre-Velothi exodus bathrooms.

This thread is http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_OCd2sO92KZI/SrldeQzGI0I/AAAAAAAABF4/IqK6ul9O9i4/s320/stewie_evil.jpg !!!