I have always found this argument/notion to be extremely idiotic, homophobic, nonsensical and psychologically hysterical. As a male playing a female character is inconceivable to me, it's that whole RPG thing...
Whatever. I felt the same way when I played my first 'choose your characters six' game, which was Diablo 1, way back in 1997. You could play the macho warrior dude, or a male sorceror, or the female rogue (archer) class. I played the crap out of the warrior and the sorceror for months, but turned into a wienie when I contemplated playing the rogue class... got all "OMG, I'm a guy, how can I play a female char? Will it mean I'm gay or something?!? Will it bring out a feminine side I didn't even know I had??" Same sort of stuff you're all concerned about yourself, even though you're not big enough to admit it... lol. But eventually I decided what the heck, nobody's looking over my shoulder and questioning my masculinity here, and I really wanted to play the archer class in that game something fierce, so... here goes! After a few hours of self-conscious play, I finally just forgot about what six the pixels were supposed to be, and just enjoyed the heck out of playing an archer.
Since then, I've played a mix of male/female chars in dozens of different games, whatever whim happens to take me when I go to create an avatar. Nothing homophobic or psychologically disturbed about a guy creating a female character in a game, though. I freely admit I admire the female physique, and if that's what I like looking at from behind when I'm running around some desert, more power to me. Funny thing was, after playing a female char for a while, I still found myself only being attracted to women, and I never once had an urge to do my nails or get my hair done or get all dreamy about Leonardo DiCaprio. If you're afraid to try it for some reason, that's your business. Just don't get all freaky just because somebody else does.
Perhaps you're looking at the whole thing differently, I suppose- me, the chars I create, I don't see them as *ME*... I play the chars I create, I don't *live as them* in the game. I'm playing my chars third-personish, so to speak, and not pretending I AM the char. As if I'm in my own private movie and I'm the director helping the protagonist act out the scenes. Perhaps you are on the other side of that, and can't disconnect yourself from the characters you create, and have to believe that char IS you... if that's where your head is when you're playing, then I guess I could understand your squeamishness. But for those of us who guys who aren't that 'into' our RP'ing, it's just another cute female backside bouncing across the desert. Diff'rent strokes.