Revenge Feels Good

Post » Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:10 pm

This is my first time writing a fan-fiction for Fallout, but I have much experience writing fan fiction for other things.

Prologue

My name is Eric. I think the year's 2268. I live in Washington, or what used to be Washington. You know, that place in the Northwest. It's not the worst place I've heard of. I hear that the Capital Wastleland is torture. I can only name three people I like: my mother, my father and my father's friend. I live near some old radiated river. It's not too far from here, but I sure wouldn't walk there. The river's pretty large, a great place for mutated fish to crawl out of. We... I mean I lived in some old Pre-War building that happens to be in a good condition. It wasn't not a dream home, just okay. No giant holes in the walls, atleast.

Chapter One

The story starts when some raiders shifted towards the city. About a hundred. They decided to target our area because it was one of the few places that didn't take a direct hit from a bomb, keeping it in a good condition. They took old stores as there homes. Basically, they caused destruction. Alot of it. Killing people, hanging them from lamp posts. It was gruesome. I hid from them in the basemant when they attacked our house. They ransacked the place. They killed my mother and my father. I could hear them scream. I could hear them struggle. Then, I just heard nothing. I didn't know if the raiders were still there. I waited and waited. I decided to take a knife out of a shelf, and climbed up the ladder, up into my house. Blood was smeared across the walls and floor. A bloody hook was left behind. The raiders had stolen our food and our valuables. I sat down, not knowing what to do next. After a few minutes, I heard something. Something hit the door. I stood next to the door, waiting there with my knife. The door flew open and someone came in. He didn't see me and I jumped him. Before I stabbed him, I realized who it was. It was my fathers friend, Matt. He almost shot me with a 10mm pistol before he realized who I was.

He asked me, "Eric, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Sorry. I just thought that you might be a raider," I replied.

"We're going to get you out of here. They killed your parents, didn't they?"

"Yes. I don't know what they did to them."

"We'll find out. Come on. Take this, you'll need it," he said as he handed me a pistol and ammunition.

He guided me out the door. It was total madness. People were screaming and crying. Raiders were spread all over, some with knives, some with bats, some even had pistols. A few noticed us.

"Come on kid, use your pistol, that's what I gave you it for," Matt said.

I aimed and fired two bullets at the raiders that noticed us. I hit one of them out of the three that were coming to us. I fired maybe three more bullets. Matt had to finish them off for me. We rushed out of the warzone and into safety, maybe a hundred feet away from them. Matt had something on his arm that looked like a device. I was curious about it.

I asked, "Matt, what's that on your arm?"

"It's a Pip-Boy. Personal Information Processor. I'll get you one some time," He answered.

To be continued.
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Lucy
 
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Post » Sat Oct 31, 2009 1:04 am

Pretty good. There's some spelling errors but that's it. It's never easy to find a decent story easy to read, but in alot of stories I've read, the enemy is some pack of brainless Raiders or some mega-evil Outcasts. I like the perspective of someone evil, but some of these stories make them seem like a villain straight out of a cartoon.
:obliviongate:
:flamethrower: :ooo:
:nothanks:
:chaos:
:flame:
:evil:
:gun: :shocking:
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John N
 
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Post » Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:15 pm

Well done, this is very interesting, Keep it up!! :goodjob:
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lucile
 
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Post » Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:50 pm

Chapter Two

We rested near some large rocks. They hid us pretty well from whatever would even try to find us.

I asked Matt, "How will we live without food, or water? The raiders took over the store and everything. There's no places to scavenge food."

"We have to hunt for mutants. For the water, I have no idea. That big river over there would kill us for sure," he answered.

We slept there. I woke up a few times in the middle of the night... I swore I heard something around us. I maybe squeezed in six hours of sleep. When we woke up, we decided to go hunt for mutants. It was the best we could do for food. I was still curious about that Pip-Boy Matt had.

I asked him, "When can you get me a Pip-Boy?"

"Some time, be patient. You won't find these on the side of the road," he replied.

Our first mutant we found was a radroach. I took a shot at it and hit it in the head. I guess it was a lucky shot.

"Those radroaches are poisonous, watch out for them," Matt cautioned.

We removed it's outer armor and cut it's abdomen off with a sharp rock. We shared it for breakfast. It tasted disgusting, but it was the only thing we found at the moment.

I questioned Matt, "Do we have to live like this every day?"

"Hopefully not," he provided.

There happened to be an old gas station nearby, it included a store. There was no raiders, and the food didn't have too much radiation. We took up all the food we could, then moved on. The raiders would surely find the gas station. This daily scavenging was just the beginning.
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Amy Smith
 
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Post » Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:32 am

Pretty good story. Like the events of an disorientated kid.
but some spelling and gramatica things:

"Come on kid, use your pistol, that's what I gave you it for," Matt said.
that's why I gave it to you.

There was no raiders, and the food didn't have too much radiation.
there were no raiders,

I questioned Matt, "Do we have to live like this every day?"
is like you doubt his motives. maybe: I asked Matt:
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Ilona Neumann
 
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Post » Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:23 pm

I like it.. but why didn't the kid keep his knife???
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Jonathan Montero
 
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