Wow if Brogan wasn't a Nord he would've killed himself a long time ago. Well if things go according to plan something will happen that may be good for all of us.

Fara knows betteer than speaking her minfd that way within Brogan's hearing range. She's too tired and not pissed enough to give him a tongue lashing. He's still her commanding officer and she isn't interested in an official reprimand. Though if she thought it could get her transfered into another unit, she would probably do it in a hearthbeat....

Poor Brogan. Can't seem to do anything right. Haha. Surely, there is something he can do to redeem himself later.

For some reason, I think the next Stormcloak post should be along the lines of

"And thus, a long silence did ensue, one so great in it's magnitude that it ceased nearly all operation within the fortress. They all stared each other down, in complelte silence, contemplating their next moves and attempting to telepathically read what the other was thinking and adjust their thoughts accordingly. This event would soon come to be named "the silent plot"...."

Not bad for off the cuff

I love it.

After Ranry posts, we're going to skip ahead to the following morning when the reinforcements come to the fort, to let you's know.

I'll be doing a time skip for the Neutral people too later. Just got to let a few more people post.

I jumped to morning with Aerys, but seeing as he hasn't actually met anyone yet, I figured that would be alright.

Hmn....Stormcloaks and Imperials...
*pictures dropping Yolviingnir on them*

Yeah, I like Dragons XD

With the other Stormcloaks missing, when you guys start again...I kind of what to drop Skir. I'm already struggling to get up posts and writing for three characters is just too much, sorry.

Just writing my legion character for the moment. I'll edit the post later to include Ned and Aedan

Ok, being blunt for a moment, I'm starting to lose faith here.

Not only can Brogan just get information out of prisoners with a snap of his fingers, but he instantly knows its the reinforcements, despite no one else actually having figured that out yet. Yes, Fara said to fetch Brogan and say it MIGHT be the reinforcements, but that certainly wasn't a positive.
And as for the new neutral guy...is he the Dragonborn now, or something? Who else, outside of the Grey Beards and Blades, actually knows Dragon language or can just happen to understand it?

Apologies if that comes off snappy, but I want this RP to do well and enjoy it, and certain things are starting to get in the way...
Edit: Tom did a very decent job of writing, at any rate.

It wasn't Brogan who announced the newcomers as being the reinforcments but the soldier sent by Fara. And after a day's walk, the battle and the sorting out, it wouldn't be surprising for him to mistake 'possibly the Legion' as the arrival of the announced reinforcements.

But if they get orders to immediatly walk to Dragonbridge, Fara will feel really pissed : it means a day of walking through the moutain (without snowshoes or teh like), or and a half at least if using the roads (back to Solitude, then along the river to Dragonbridge), followed by another Brogan-commanded attack on entrenched troops. Probably as soon as they're here, which means another night attack. Unless they'd do a night march from Solitude. Against what's hopefuly an even number of troops.

And it will be straight after a day's march, a very bloody battle and a sleepless night sorting out the results. Which means Brogan's surviving command will be physically exhausted, hungry, with a a morale within inches of mutiny or desertion.

yes i knew Fara said might but the soldier didn't remember that.

Also with Dorlas' dream it's part of the reason why he came to Skyrim, he isn't the Dragonborn and he doesn't understand it, sorry if it came around like that. Also Brogan had been asking questions for hours not just for a couple of minutes.

Ah, a word of advice for you Rexy my good chum. People, feel free to refute me on this, but this is just my two cents

The devil is in the details. Brogan might have been interrogating them for hours, but unless you actually write that then we don't know. We alas, aren't all mind readers. I think that your writing will greatly improve and become far more enjoyable to read if you add more depth into your posts. That means details, details, details! Tell us what the character is thinking, what they are feeling, what are their motives. The one thing we don't know about Brogan (other than his alleged sense of honour and a love of fire spells) are his motives, why he does what he does. This isn't a film where we can tell (or at least elude to) what the character is feeling or experiencing because we have the luxury of camera angles, backround music and so on. Unless you write it in specifically, or at least hint to it, then we don't know about it. By adding a bit more depth into the character, people will enjoy it more. If he's honourable, show him doing something honourable, having an honourable thought. If he cares about his men, have him express this somehow. Even if the other characters don't see it as such, explain his motive anyway so that we Rpers don't misinterpret.

As for Dorlas, same sort of thing applies. The whole vision thing is a little ambiguous, and perhaps a little too convenient. Perhaps tone it down a little to make more (and I know this word might seem out of place) realistic. I am by no means deploring the idea, especially in a fantasy setting, but by adding some realism to it, the fantasy elements become far more believable. What is his destiny or so on? What does it mean? We certainly don't know, but I'm assuming you do. You don't have to tell us out right, but even just hinting to it in your writing, rather than just suddenly dropping it on us. Again, when I read your character sheet, I don't recall seeing anything about him having these dreams - only that he's come back to Skyrim to meet an old friend. Although it's been a while since I looked.

I'm not trying to put you down or put you off, and I hope you see this for what it is - just a bit of constructive criticism to help you improve.

I can see where your coming from I'm going to do some editing anyway. Thanks for the advice and constructive criticism.

p.s. I just got rid of the bit with Alduin in Dorlas' dream.

I think I'll leave it to Tom. I make sense gud when I post in the small hours of the morning, and just come off like an abrasive git XD

Just wanted to say, I'm not dead nor have I abandoned this RP. I'm just biding my time for my final post which will happen when the Dragon arrives in Whiterun.

I just posted a little bit of conspiracy theory from Fara which at least in her opinion explains several decisions by the Legion that she finds odd.

Oooooooh! The thicken plots!

Just want to mention after attacking the Stormcloak camp we'll go to Solitude, rest up and get new gear and etc. And then go to Morthal, and we won't be marching through the swamp.

Haha! Or boating the whole way ;P bahaha

The air is foggy, on the shore lies the ruins of a old fort, Stormcloaks patrol it. A whole host of row boats silently move through the water.
Brogan is at the head.

"Silence".

"Faster".

"Draw swords".

Darn! You guys post so fast I can hardly keep up.

Quick note, Miq'a is 'female', in as much as any gender can be attached to a bound spirit being of pure energy Mostly because she's attached to Lyrial. She tends to sound a bit like her, too.

New http://www.gamesas.com/topic/1345665-crimson-snow-ooc-thread-no3/thread!