Okay, CHIMsters, let's us put our heads together and try for some verisimilitudinous cussin' enough to make Streewise a skill again, with perks and everything.


Just to get things a-chuggin':

"You stupid marafetcher!"

And Shor shook his scaled mane wistfully and said "Marafetchin' Elves, Man..."

The most grave insult to any Bosmer is "Vegan". Altmer would have "Manf*cker" or some variation. Nords have "Milk-Drinkers". Dunmer have S'wit and N'wah.

I wish I could contribute something beyond "Spear-Biter," but my brain just isn't hardwired for witty repartee.

S'wit is probably popular with all elf subsets minus Orsimer, what with it being a contraction of 'slackwit'. Marafetcher is good, though, and near-universal in application. Milk-drinkin Marafetchers.

Tauriel of Minos's guide to Thalmoric Class Ayem-Mangi-Rear Negative Descriptors:

Longstrider - One who, in violation of Phynaster-Mandate 107-Forward-Hyphen-Ascend-False, walks with too-long strides and will surely auto-terminate by means of such foolishness.

Entropic Instrument - One who, in violation of the 1st Accord of Neveragainorbefore, section 3-Creation, Subsection _|, Para-paragraph 2, "Pertaining to Undesirable Reminders", is such a poor musician as to possibly be even worse than Lorkhan

Xarxes's First Mate - One who, in violation of the 7th Proclamation of the Dearth of Baby Elves, is such a poor lover as to have the potentiality to turn a heterosixual elf into a literal bibliophile.

The most vulgar Imperial (Guard) term must be "criminal scum."

In other news: Samar -- a supposed son of a man named Jakben, though that was never determined -- stared at the precarious situation. His redguard instincts told him that his voyage to Akavir would yield no treasures, but his men had mutinied from the charms of a wicked breton storyteller. As the Lordly Bounty continued to burn, and as his former crew were slaughtered left and right, Samar struggled viciously against his ropes. No mortal-made bindings would ever hold Samar. The ropes yielded to their superior, and Samar picked up the closest scimitar to him. It belonged to his former first mate, whose own blood marked the blade.

Samar looked over the situation. His odds were hopeless, but he was determined to make the Lordly Bounty his again. With rage in his eyes and fire in his heart, Samar released all his blinding anger into a rallying war cry.

"I'M TIRED OF ALL THESE MARAFETCHIN' TSAECI ON MY MARAFETCHIN' SHIP!"

In the name of St. Nerevar and all that is holy, don't you milk-drinkin', skooma-svckin' piles of horker dung have anything better to do with your ruttin' time than come up with Marafetchin' curses? Dagon's dingles, man! Bad enough you got those knife-eared, pink-eyed greyskins throwin' their "S'wits" and their "N'wahs" around! Are you a bunch of Hist-huggers or am I just out of my Shor'amn mind? Mother of Anu! You can stuff your toes up a Hlaalu's nose! Oblivion take you all, you sump-skraws!*

Ahem.....

[*Disclaimer: All insults were purely for fun and were not actually meant to be insulting. So for Sil's sake, don't you sugar-snuffers get your Nirnroots in a knot!]

Ratkiller, weed-chaser: slang for new recruits in the Fighters and Mages guilds, respectively.

Here, just take all of my money.


Okay, you can have some money, too.

I'd say mead-fetcher would be a Companions equivalent, but it's been established that 'fetch' has an.... Alternate meaning.

Companions use Whelp do they not.

Krot, this place is going to hell in a hog-cart.