Actually, one of the followers in-game that you can gather is an Orcish woman feels caged about the entire deal named Borgakh the Steel Heart. She just became of age and will be soon shipped off to some random warlord not of her choosing. There's also the smith in Markarth that left the Stronghold for similar reasons.
So no, the "equlity" aspect is not romantic. It rings true, but I personally don't buy "separate but equal". In Stronghold society women cannot rule to become warlords and men cannot learn to become shamans. Men are fated to either be killed on the battlefield or their son's hand while women can only bear children and fight. Granted this makes plenty sense knowing the background of the Orcs, but it hardly paints orcish society in a bright light.
Yeah I pretty much agree with this. I'm familiar with Borgakh, I'm not saying everyone likes it. To me it sounds like a horrible situation to be in but it works for them so who am I to judge?
And on a similar if more on topic note: Dunmer food isn't bad, just wierd when compared to the more mundane cyrodilic stuff.