Charon's Descent

Post » Thu May 03, 2012 1:11 pm

Hey everyone! I've had an idea for a story that I really wanted to share for a while but never got to it. The other day I had some extra time so I decided to write up the first chapter. The story takes place in the year 4E 172 (roughly 20 years before the events of Skyrim) This is my first Fan fiction story so I am open to advice.





Charon's Descent.


Chapter One


Charon looked over into the wilderness with a mix of anticipation and anxiety. The youth had often explored the forest surrounding the settlement of Ivarstead as a child but now he was going on a real adventure. The half Nord half Redguard stood at an impressive 6 feet five inches and bore a bulky, muscular girth from a life of hard work on his humble farm. He had an innocent, yet fierce, expression on his face and a toothy grin that he always wore on his face. His deep hazel eyes gleamed with excitement at the prospect of heading with the local group of men into the lush forest of the Rift to make contact with a mine who's inhabitants mysteriously disapeared.Normally the local guard would perform such tasks,but the vast majority of the guards were off fighting in the war against the Aldmeri Dominion.

His thoughts were interrupted by his fathers deep raspy voice. "It's time. Are you ready?" the middle age Nord questioned.

"Yes, Father."

Charon's father Andrel shared his son's height and muscular build, but that's were the similarities ended. Andrel's shoulder length, light blonde hair contrasted Charon's short dark trim. And while Charon had an optimistic look to him, Andrel was a portrait of distrust and loathing.

Andrel had at one time been a legionnaire, but his career was ended with a badly broken leg at the hands of a bandits warhammer. He took the job as a farmer at his childhood home of Ivarstead and lived a lonely life. That was until the day he met his love. A beautiful long haired merchant Redguard woman by the name of Relian. Relian had migrated to Skyrim in hopes to escape the conflicts raging in her home land of Hammerfell. Before long, Relian was pregnant. Ashamed of bearing a child out of wedlock the couple kept the conception a secret. But news moved fast in the small town, and word spread of the expected birth.

On the night of Charon's birth a sudden sickness overtook the woman. Fearing the worst, the couple sought out the aid of the town alchemist in help for the birth. But the man shut them out, telling them that it is the will of the gods that both the mother and child should die. Shocked and infuriated, The soon-to-be father punched the man in the face, and then stormed off with his lover. The throes of birth soon overtook the woman and Andrel could only watch as life slowly began to drain from the body of the woman he loved. Against all odds the child, a boy, was born healthy. Unfortunately the stress on Relian's body was too much and she passed into Aetherius.

Distraught and heartbroken, Andrell raised the boy with a firm discipline. Training him in the ways of swordsmanship and farming. Charon soon grew to be a strong young man, but was shunned by the local Nords and brandished with insults such as dirtblood and the like. Charon in turn made friends with nature and would often wander alone in the woods with his thoughts. He quickly learned the layout of the forest and had many a hideout sprawled throughout the forest.

"Remember what I taught you, and keep silent and hold your tongue." Andrell commanded to the boy, motioning to the iron broadsword strapped onto Charon's back.

Charon just nodded and the pair moved towards the center of the settlement. A group of seven men were standing in a circle listening to the town elder speak. They were armed with an assortment of makeshift weapons. The elder a cruel man by the name of Neynjol spotted them and his face twisted into a look of contempt.

"Well if it isn't Andrell and his bastard dirtblood son."

Charon's face grew red hot with anger and had only one thought on his mind Im gonna rip that son of a [censored]'s head off!

Before he could make a move, his father put a firm hand on his shoulder and said, "Yes we are coming along too. You'll need the help in case we run into trouble."

Neynjol stared him down and then finally sneered, "If you insist."

"Let us be off!" the old Nord commanded and the small group began their ill fated journey down the path and into the forest.
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Glu Glu
 
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Post » Thu May 03, 2012 8:13 am

Hey, I really like your start. Keep on going, and I will keep on reading, and I'll comment after every new post if that means you'll keep on going.
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Anna Krzyzanowska
 
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Post » Thu May 03, 2012 11:42 am

It's pretty good, dude. You're a good writer, but I can tell you're new. Your prose, at times, is excellent and solid, but it sometimes trips up in sentences like "His deep hazel eyes gleamed with excitement at the prospect of heading with the local group of men into the lush forest of the Rift to make contact with a mine who's inhabitants mysteriously disappeared". Your descriptions are mostly good, just try to avoid info dumps (which you did a decent job of). Keep up the good work! :)

Oh, and just because it's your first fan-fic doesnt mean that you shouldnt take advice when writing your 6th, or 20th, or even writing something on your own ;)
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David Chambers
 
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Post » Thu May 03, 2012 7:12 pm

I assume you got the name from Fallout 3 and not my work?

EDIT:

sorry, i just saw where you posted on our thread that it was from a name generator, lol didnt know that name circulated in those.
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Brentleah Jeffs
 
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Post » Thu May 03, 2012 4:59 pm

I assume you got the name from Fallout 3 and not my work?

EDIT:

sorry, i just saw where you posted on our thread that it was from a name generator, lol didnt know that name circulated in those.
Ya, I was on a name generator and I saw Charon. Being a fan of Greek mythology, I stuck to that name.
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Elea Rossi
 
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Post » Thu May 03, 2012 10:35 am

Ya, I was on a name generator and I saw Charon. Being a fan of Greek mythology, I stuck to that name.

HA! OMG thats why i picked the name too! Charon, some one so important but was rarely ever talked of.
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Jeremy Kenney
 
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