» Thu May 03, 2012 7:54 am heres a TES novel that im working on. Ive never written seriously before and im only 17 so just give me your honest opinion to the starting to my novel. It is based on my Skyrim character called Folamer. And if i like the stroy by the end i will write another one which will be based on my oblivion character, Who is folamers dad.
The warm air, sun infused air loomed through the rooms of the large estate. The air was sweet, with a hint of the jorfai berries that grew in the nearby forest. The grass was a sweet green and the afternoon sun bathed the valley side in a fiery orange glow. And the trees where dancing in the suns fire, their leaves blowing in the feint wind that blew down the whole length of the valley all the way out to the torrential Abecean Sea. Inside the estate however a matter of most suffering was coming to birth. A women named Fola-vora lay in a large, golden bed whilst her personal doctor stood in front, force feeding her words of hope and courage. The screams Drifted down the valley, twisting between the twisted trees and all the way to the forva fields where many children sat learning their first bit of the arcane arts. The screams carried on for what the man standing outside, would have called a life time. But after a long day of anticipation and sympathy, the wretched noise finally came to an end.
“m’Lord. The process is complete. You may enter.”
The tall golden skinned man lowered his arms from his chests and opened his eyes. He nodded at the doctor and then turned to the door of the stone estate and entered. As he entered he could feel the presence of Arkay and the Lady maiden, Mara, Bound hand in hand. He turned to look at his wife who still lay on the bed, Puffing and recovering from the hard work. She looked in pain, but at the same time she was smiling at him and smirked as she turned to look at the table that stood in the centre of the room. He turned his head with hers to see a basket woven with light brown wood, infused with the feint orange tinge of the Borfai tree. He slowly steeped over to the table and the basket, taking careful steps as his heart was pounding in his chest. The room was silent, although it seemed as the though the gods were calling out in joy. Inside the basket was a small golden skinned Mer, eyes closed and fists clenched. Its skin was soft and its eyelids where lighter, almost see through. But despite its weakness as a young one, it seemed as strong as the old man himself, Able to take on the whole world that stood before it. The man took up the youngling in his tired hands and carefully lifted it from the basket. The youngling felt firm and lay hard and calm in his hands as the man pressed it against his chests. As the man felt the heart beat against his, he knew that the youngling was stronger and healthier than any child he had ever known, Instead of crying or wailing about, the child simply sat in his hands and observed through the slits in his eye lids.
“He is a strong child m’lord. “Stated the doctor from the other side of the table. “ He will excel at the Arcane arts, And will go on to be a strong enforcer for the Thalmor.”
“His future is his own” replied the man blatantly. “But yes, he is very strong.” Whispered the man under his breath. “ he shall be named Folamer. Is this a fine name my lady?”.
“ Yes husband. It is a beautiful name. His name shall be heard all across Tamriel. Feared and loved”
“Folamer it is, Son, you will be a child of Arkay. And a symbol to your people.”
10 years later.
The fields where full of laughter and excitement as the children learned and played amongst each other, Their teachers desperately trying to keep the young ones under control. One child even managed to make a decent fireball in his hand. The teacher panicked and rushed at the child, telling him to put it out, But out of fright the child let go of his concentration and the fireball flew at the teachers feet. His blue sued shoes where singed and blackened and he jumped to the side like a frightened girl. Then he turned to the child and started shouting some words that came out as a pile of jumble.
However, Across the other side of the field was a much more organised set up. The teacher stood in front of his class of ten students and they sat on beautifully crafted benches, in two rows, facing the teacher. Folamer sat on the furtherist back bench on the right. This way he could drift off now and again and not risk catching the teachers attention. The whole class sat in the shade of the Borfai forest that surrounded the whole field and more importantly, The crystal Tower. The glistening crystal tower stood behind the class, Surrounded by neat gravel paths and constantly inhaling and exhaling students of magic. The tower was so large that the tip of it seemed to be swimming in the sun itself. And orange glow of the sun making its way through the glass like walls all the way down to the ground where the fields where. Folamer was told once that it was one of three towers. One lay in High rock, one in Cyrodill and one here. But which one came first he did not know.
“Folamer! Pay attention. Your father would not be pleased if you were to fail your up coming exams.”
Folamer turned away from the crystal giant and focused his gaze upon the teacher, standing on a carved pedestal. His teacher wore a blue-black robe with gold with patterns that were made of gold. The gold twisted and intertwined around his hood and flowed down onto his shoulders where it settled into large spirals that rolled down the long sleeves. The patterns were based on art work by the ancient Aldmer, the ancestors of all of tamriels elves. The Aldmer had lived on the summerset isles thousands of years before, then they dispersed all over tamriel and made the many races of elves. The dark skinned dunmer of morrowind, The tree folk of Valenwood, The ancient dwemer that actually ended up inhabiting most of tamriel before mysteriously dissapering. And the snow elves of Skyrim. Also extinct.
“Where are your books, Folamer.” The teacher seemed anxious for a reply. But Folamer knew the question was rhetorical. As this would have been the fifth time this week that Folamer had turned up to his lessons without his work.
“Back at my estate” Folamer replied hushed and embarrassed.
“You disappoint your family. You can be great. But to be great you need to have enthusiasm, You need commitment. And you need your books” Snapped the frustrated teacher. “Do you want to serve the Thalmor, Folamer? Because you need to pass your exams to do so. And if you do not. You will be sent away to Cyrodil where you will live your life as an inn keeper or a bartender. Is this what you want?”
Folamer’s face began to burn with anger. Fists clenched and eyes twitching like a mad man on skooma. It wasn’t often that Folamer felt like this, but when he did, he felt like he could set the world on fire. As he began to rise out of his seat a small spark of flame, erupted inside his fists. Folamer looked down at the angry flame and panicked like the Younger child across the field. But instead of releasing his grasp he swallowed it up in his palm and looked up at the shocked teacher. But with a face of pride and anger, Folamer turned and walked away from the lesson.
The teacher called out for Folamer to wait but he kept walking towards the gigantic Gravel sea that would take him to his estate in the valley. Folamer knew he was in great trouble. He knew that his teacher would inform his father and also the archmage of the tower. But Folamer had already made it bad enough and there was no way to turn back from what had already been done. Instead Folamer focused on informing his mother first. That would mean he would probably have more support in the firestorm to come. His mother had always understood his actions. She had always been reasonable and not punished him as harshly as his father. He still loved his father greatly. But when it came to disputes and trouble. Mother was the one to stick beside.
When Folamer had finally cooled down, And his temper had passed. He stopped, And looked around at the swaying Borfai trees, Blowing softly in the cool, sweet air. He noticed a piece of Borfai fruit upon the top of one of the trees in the forest, Glistening in the sunlight. The yellow fruit that hung lightly from the top branches was tasteful but it was always to high, and to hard for him to reach. So he never got to taste it apart from when his father brought it home some days. But after anolyzing the dim forest ground, he saw a yellow lump emerging through the luscious, green grass. Folamer made his way towards the fruit, Smiling in delight as he passed out of the sunlight and into the cool shade that hung from the forest. The cool air clinging to his skin like icicles. The fruit was nestled softly in the ground. And for the first time, Folamer noticed the chocolate brown spots on it. They were like the spots on a Dog but after closer inspection, Folamer noticed that they were in fact small dimples in the fruit. The fruit was yellow all over and covered in the small spots. And it was about the size of a foot and as round as an Watermelon. He had once heard that it was the cousin fruit of the gourd that was popular in Skyrim and Cyrodil. But instead of growing on vines in the ground, It stood high proud above the ground in the majestic. Much like his people. He took it up and held it close to his face, taking in the beautiful scent of the yellow fruit before sinking his teeth into the moist flesh. The juice squirted out and soaked into his mouth and flowed between his teeth and around his tongue. The juice was sweet and tangy with a sour after taste that made your face squeeze up. He took up a few more chunks and remembered all the times when he was younger. Waiting for his father to come home. Sitting at the door and then seeing him come over the hill carrying a basket of the beautiful fruit. Then his mother would send him out to gather some berries and by the time he got back, the fruit would be all prepared on a table and sprinkled in sweet cinnamon. Then all three of them would sit down and enjoy each others company, mum would watch me and smile softly, pleased with the son she had birthed and pleased with her life. Dad would sit there playing with his magic and trying to make me laugh and at the same time try not to burn the whole house down. These memories were slowly starting to fade away. He didn’t like this but it was apart of life as his father told him. His father had always told him that no matter what we did with our lives and what we achieved, The greatest memories of these accomplishments would always fade into time. But however, the humans did not believe this. They believed that inside their minds their love, passion and greatest moments will last with them forever. Perhaps this was because of their short lived lives. Or their ignorance. But Folamer did not care for the matter and thoughts quickly drifted back to the matter at hand.
As the Folamer walked over the ridge and his walk was coming to an end, he saw his parents estate in the valley. It looked serine and content. A white puff of smoke slowly drifting out of the chimney and the leeks swaying lightly in the afternoon breeze. The whole house was encompassed by the orange, setting sun in the distance. Slowly making its way down behind the distant mountains of the isles. The land was soaked up in the suns orange tinge all the way up to my leather shoes and
