It isn't hard to kill.
Even for a peaceful man it is not particularly difficult. When you are pushed it is simply a matter of getting to work and before long you stand over a body.
The difficult part is dealing with what you have done. Reconciling who you believe yourself to be with what you would think of another who had done the things you have done. Your self image changes, and you can either seek to explain your behavior and regain your previous view of yourself or embrace the change and become a new man.
I'm tired of dealing with these issues. I want better for my family. For my child. For my wife.
In this inhospitable world I have done much good and my fair share of bad as well to build about myself and my family a bubble of safety. I have worked my hands to the bone that my child might have a childhood, a period of life defined by ignorance of the bubble in which he lives. In a world where man has nearly extinguished itself a number of times this is not easy. I have not been entirely successful.
My child has seen death. He has seen prostitution. He has seen drug use and the despair that comes with it. Yet through all of this he has retained the childlike innocence that is inherent in childhood, hence the name.
The man pauses.
I look at my hands and I see the blood they have spilled.
If they knew what I had done. If they knew, they wouldn't be able to see me as they do now.
I want to take them somewhere safe. I want a better life for them. For us.
As the sun rose over the Tecate Divide the man turned to the other, eager to be understood.
"We've all done some dirt friend. It's human nature. You can't escape it." replied The Other.
The man looked down, disappointed his contact hadn't better grasped his sentiment.
"I'll take you though. If you've got the credits I'll take you."
Thus it was decided, the man and his family would set out when next the sun rose over the Tecate Divide, and perhaps far to the North East they would find a future in New Vegas.