now im at a loss as what to do ive went to fort wooden hand and alessia and both have yet to respawn even did a quick travle from leyawiin to the daedric shrin at the nost north west part of the map near bruma and areas are still dead

Most every thing will respawn in 3 days. You can wait outside a shop for three days to see its new inventory. But for enemy areas (caves, forts n' stuff) you must leave the game cell, wait three days then go back.

how far away must i be from each fort to be considered otu of the game cell ? or coudl i just rest inside of the arcane university ?

If a dungeon has several areas it′s enough that you wait in another area, you don′t even have to leave the cave or whatever as a whole. If it has only one area though, then you must exit it completely but you don′t have to walk to the other side of the map.
Think like this. If you have a loading screen, that means you have exited the cell you just were in.

I think it′s like this anyway. Please correct me if I′m mistaken.

Distance doesn't matter. You can stand right on the front steps of a shop or dungeon and the interior cells will reset.

but i liek killing the enemies that spawn outside of the fort as well :/ they have warhammers

Then find somewhere else to wait - inside another dungeon/cave, a nearby farm...