Hi guys, this is my first writing in a VERY long time, I hope my high school lit classes have improved my writing
anyways, this is the prolouge of my possible fanfiction. I haven't written it all yet, so ill base whether i continue the story on if people like the prolouge.

BTW, this has almost nothing to do with the main story, just an introduction to see if people like my writing style



The Debt That All Men Pay

Prologue

The crack of a .50 caliber round rang across the Wasteland. I ditched my sniper's rifle and sprinted across the roof of my building as a Super Mutant corpse dropped to the earth. How these Muties have stumped the Brotherhood for so long is beyond me. A little sneakiness and they drop like flies.

My thumb pressed down on a detonator and two plasma mines destroyed the alleyway between two buildings adjacent to my own, along with the Mutants residing there. I checked the alleyway next to my residence and was greeted by a burst of 5.56 ammunition. Luckily, the rounds past inches from my head. My ears rang, and I made it to where the Mutant's ears would never ring again. I crossed the roof to a doorway and threw my leather jacket at the tripwire halfway down the staircase. Two simultaneous explosions ended the afternoon of fun.


A grin flashed across my face as I retrieved my jacket. This thing has had more damage than most of those Paladin's power armor. I scratched my black, wavy hair and sat down in my sniper spot underneath a tan colored blanket and scanned the waste-covered horizon for any sign of movement.


After a few hours of boredom, a figure piqued my interest. Around 500 meters outside of my heavily armored, three story building in the ruins of Andale, I scoped in on a man carrying a briefcase in pre-war business wear. My finger rested on the trigger of my father's old rifle. I thought about if I should blow this man's head off, but decided to see what he had in store for Andale. What are you thinking, Jon! This can't be about me. How could the Brotherhood figure out my location after only six months?

Not much of a story..could you at least give us your charicters name? For a prolouge,its good.I like your writing style,and your title is pretty cool.I give it a 7.5/10.I like it,and I hope to see more from you in the future.Welcome to the forums!

oh snap my bad i originally wrote this in 3rd person and changed it lol, ill fix

ok well i figured i'd write the first full chapter, I have nothing better to do lol.


Chapter One

The suit-wearing man strolled almost uncaringly through the wastes. I've never seen anyone so nonchalant while venturing in the wastes... I wonder what he's hiding. I zoomed out with my scope, and spotted a much larger figured in the distance, moving incredibly fast. "[censored] a deathclaw!" I cursed.

I threw off the tan covering and sprinted down the stairs and into my second-level armory. I scooped up my Gauss Rifle and the last two micro fusion cells left in my possession. This better be enough. Those deathclaws can take three full clips of Chinese AR, and I can't afford to use that much ammo with the Talons AND the Brotherhood breathing down my neck... As I swung open the steel door guarding my roost, the deathclaw approached the well-dressed man. "Well i guess i don't have to worry about him anymore." I mumbled.

Just as these words left my lips, the deathclaw raised its arm for a strike. The man moved faster than anything I've ever seen, and simultaneously drew a .40 caliber pistol and let loose 3 shots into the deathclaw's temple faster than a gunslinger in the old video tapes I found at the old film theater last month. The deathclaw's now limp claw fell onto a busted car and sliced through the roof. The man spit on the corpse and slipped his magnum back into his coat pocket.

As I stood, jaw dropped at the incredible speed and precision the man showed after seeming so distant only milliseconds before. I ran back to my armory and picked up my CAR (aside - Chinese Assault Rifle = CAR from now on.) and 12 mags of 5.56 ammo, along with a 10MM pistol and 10 mags of ammo. When I re-exited my home the man was waiting outside leaned against a wall. "Are you Jon Turner?" He asked in a thick British accent.

I tilted my head and chambered a round: "What's it to you?"

He smirked. "My name is Murphy. I've been sent to find you. It seems that the Brotherhood of Steel has taken interest in you." I lifted my CAR and aimed it one handed at the stranger's head. "I knew you were here for my head. Brotherhood [censored]s have been following me ever since I hit up that science lab in the ruins of Bethesda."

The man held up his hand. "I've not been sent to kill you, despite what you saw when the deathclaw attacked me. It seems you stumbled upon some technology that was finished just as the bombs dropped 270 years ago. They didn't tell me everything, so I can't brief you right now. You'll have to come with me to the Citadel in the DC ruins."

I rubbed my brow with a battle-hardened hand and coughed. "I don't know. Something seems fishy about this. I think I'll stay here, thanks Murphy, but no thanks. I'll take my chances on the Muties and the Company over the Brotherhood mass Robin Hood complex."

"Robin Hood complex? How do you know that about human psychological complexes? You must have had some experience with the Commonwealth. Also, despite the... um... 'fervor' of some Brotherhood members, most are wasters like you that have signed up for the protection." Murphy interjected.

I smiled at the incorrect complement, and corrected him: "No, I've never been north of Ronto or east of the New York ruins. The Commonwealth borders the severe eastern edge of the New York wastes. I learned about all kinds of things from a scribe in the Arlington Library. I'm afraid that I still can't come with you Murphy. I don't trust the Brotherhood as far as i can throw one of their power armor suits."

Murphy's smirk died down and he reached into his back waistband and pulled out something like a large, round pistol. "Elder Lyons said you may resist. That's why he commissioned me this Mesmetron. It will knock you out fast than a Mutie's fist."

I aimed by CAR, but before i could fire, Murphy fired the Mesmetron. It felt like a Mutie overlord head butted me right in the sternum. I blacked out before i hit the ground.


-------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked it, ANY criticism will be read and considered

Hmm..not bad,not bad.You should probably run it through microsoft word to spell-check it though,I see a few errors in spelling,nothing horrible.I think I may be the only person who thinks this,but this one could turn into something genuinely interesting.I'll check in occasionally and review as many chapters as I can.Keep writing!