Marrow knocked his arrow on the bow and let it fly. It whistled past the trees and planted in the neck of a deer. He grinned, jogging to the morings catch. Leaning down, he tugged out the arrow, and slung the corpse onto his shoulder. He looked around at the thick woods, and realized with worry he was lost. His boots left no foot prints in the dry dirt, and he had abandoned the road long ago. Darkness was setting, and he looked over his surroundings for something to make a camp with.

Nothing.

The pines looked climable though. He his the deer under some leaves, and made his way to the top of an incredibly tall spruce. Leaning down he looked at how far up he was. A good fifty feet, he thought. Resuming his climb, he heard a crack come from below his feet. The spruce's top branch did not support him, and he fell "a good fifty feet", to the unforgiving ground below. He let out a cry as his back slammed on the twigs and bracnches. Trying to move, he found it impossible and lay there.

But in the darkness.....a snarl.

He sat motionless as a troll the size of a man and a half stood before him. It leaned down and sniffed his body. "Noooooooo!!!!!!!!" He screamed as the troll picked him up and dragged him through the woods. Unable to help himself, he could only watch as it dragged him into its lair for its hungry children. Muffled cries and shouts came from the cave, as well as the sound of snapping bone. And a hunter wondered why an abandoned deer would ever be left lying at the base of a spruce.

Interesting, I'm curious as to how he escapes, but the fact is it's a "Wall O' Text", meaning it's not broken up at all. Try separating it with some spaces.



Just an idea on how it could work.

Better?

Well...It is very short, and unless you have him survive random troll kidnappings and full body paralysis, you're kind of done here...

Not much to comment on, but I liked your suspenseful writing. A couple grammar errors, but not really enough to say anything about.

I read your comment on this on another thread, and if this really is all you are writing for this, I see no need for futher discussion. Thanks for dropping by and I hope you go for something a little longer next time

Good work, keep it up.


EDIT: After a quick re-reading, I can't tell whether you ended it or not...let me know because I am now confused :huh:

By far, 10 fold, in fact. :foodndrink:

I do hope to see more.

Thee story might continue with some uber mage finding him and reviving him. I have to think about it.

Hey marrow...its seems..okay.Work on it,btw,could you start posting in DOW again?I think that other than me and the orc guy,its dead.