You're making me angry... you WON'T like me when I'm angry!

Post » Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:47 pm

A part of this originated in "Skyrim Jokes", which got closed due to abuse. I've decided to expand upon the theme. This is only Part 1...
A note on gender. For expediency, I usually use male pronouns, but most of these will work on both genders.

HOW TO MAKE VARIOUS PEOPLE ANGRY IN SKYRIM

How to enrage a Nord - Ask him to bathe.
Nord (II) - Give him a flagon of warm milk.
Imperial - Ask him if his race is as boring as it looks.
Redguard - Ask him if that's an all-over tan.

Redguard (II) - Give him a new turban. Tell him later on that it was your old draqes.
Bosmer - Offer him a salad.
Khajiit - Ask him "Would you like a saucer of milk, Pussums?"

Khajiit (II) - Wear a T-shirt that says "KHAJIIT - The Other White Meat!"
Altmer - Ask him if that yellow skin means he's banana-flavored.
Argonian - Show off your new lizard-skin boots.
Dunmer - Ask him if his eyes are red because he had too much mead last night.

Breton - Ask him if Bretons are short in... other ways, too.
Orc - Making orcs angry is probably a bad idea.
Orc (II) - No, making orcs angry is DEFINITELY a bad idea!
Orc (III) - Oh, fine, if you're really that stupid. Tell him that orcish armor looks like old corroded scrap metal.

Dwemer - Remind him that he's dead.
Falmer - Tell him you're making a potion and ask if he can spare an ear.
Troll - Shave a smiley mace in his fur.
Graybeard - Ask him if there's a Shout that will cause women's clothes to spontaneously fall off.
Skeleton - Ask him where skeletons keep their gold (they don't seem to have pockets.

Werewolf - Offer him some Kibbles n' Bits.
Werewolf (II) - Try to give him a flea bath.
Vampire - Ask him if he sparkles in the sunlight.
Hagraven - Tell her she looks like Grelod the Kind.
Ghost - Try to walk through him.
Ghost (II) - Tell him not to move because you're using him for a reading lamp.
Dragon - Tell him that he's actually a wyvern.
Dragon (II) - Since you're Dragonborn, demand that he pay you child support.

Companion (circle) - See "Werewolf"
Companion (non-Circle) - Cite them for not cleaning up after their "dogs".
Mage (male) - Tell him magic is for milk-drinkers.
Mage (female) - Tell her those robes make her look fat.
Thief - Replace his lockpicks with taffy treats.
Dark Brotherhood Member - Challenge him to say "Sithis svcks sweaty smelly socks" five times fast.
Forsworn - Tell him his sword looks like a comb.
City Guard - Play frisbee with his shield.
Thalmor Justicar - Tell him that you're composing a hymn, and you need a word that rhymes with "Talos".
Silver Hand - Challenge him to find a word that rhymes with "silver". Or "orange".
Blade - Tell him that Paarthunax is cooler than he is.
Empire Soldier - Tell him that the Empire is a decaying old relic that belongs on history's trash heap.
Stormcloak - Ask him how Talos would feel about them dismantling the empire that he built.
One of Empire's jarls - Ask him if he likes being an Imperial puppet.
One of Ulfric's jarls - Ask him if he enjoys being in the service of a Thalmor asset.
Honorhall Child - Wear a Grelod mask.
Child With Attitude - Pinch their cheek and say (in a voice suitable for talking to a two-year-old) how cute they are when they talk tough like that.
Priest of Mara - Try to get them to start each wedding like this: "Mawwage! Mawwage ith what bwingth uth togethah today..."

More coming... maybe I'll move on to individuals next.
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YO MAma
 
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Post » Tue Sep 25, 2012 8:04 pm

some of these actually made me chuckle. Notbad.JPG
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Alycia Leann grace
 
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Post » Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:31 pm

The Dragonborn Child Support won was fairly good, overall not bad...
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ijohnnny
 
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