SHOR: "Uh, hey you guys?"
[Screen reveals Trendy Blonde Teen Actor #11 in Cool Guy Shirt and Jeans]
SHOR: "If you're not too busy..."
[Cut to shot of seven other Trendy Teen Actors]
SHOR: "...do you... wanna make a planet?"
[Slam-cut to peppy action pop hit #9]
[Montage of Trendy Teen Actors Having Fun shots]
NARRATOR: Shor was always the trickster.
MARA: "Shor, do you ever take anything seriously?"
[Cue record scratch]
SHOR: "Not if I can help it, baby."
[Cue ominous orchestration]
NARRATOR: But then, he took one prank... too far.
[Cut to shot of seven Trendy Teen Actors looking tired, weak and angry]
JULIANOS: "Why would he do this? It doesn't make any sense!"
KYNARETH: "At first I supported you. But this time you've gone too far, Shor..."
[Cut to shot of Shor in passionate embrace / argument with Mara]
SHOR: "This is the right thing to do! You know I'm right!"
MARA: "The right thing for who, Shor...?"
[Cut to shot of Shor dressed in Xtreme activity gear, looking out over mountain range]
SHOR: (voice-over) "The people who really matter..."
[Cue Fast Pop Action Song #7]
NARRATOR: This Summer...
[Cut to Shor running for his life]
NARRATOR: A rebel who tried to be the hero...
[Cut to Mara falling into Akatosh's embrace]
AKATOSH (angry, looking off into distance): "What's he gotten us all into...?"
[Cut to montage of seven Trendy Teen Actors chasing Shor]
NARRATOR: Will pay the ultimate price for his compassion...
ZENITHAR: "Don't run Shor! I always win, remember? I always win!"
NARRATOR: And now...
[Cut to silhouette of backlit body-builder in abandoned house]
MOLAG BAL: "BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT!?!?!"
NARRATOR: He's being chased...
[Cut to blindfolded Shor tied up in a chair under a spotlight]
NARRATOR: By his worst nightmares.
SHEOGORATH: (from darkness) "Did I ever tell you how much I liked your eyes...?"
[Cut to montage of Shor jumping over things, running, driving cars, explosions]
DIBELLA: "Hey big boy... take a look at these!"
AKATOSH: (in heavy rain, brandishing pistol) SHOR! Don't make me shoot yoooooouuu!!!"
NARRATOR: From the director of Bad Boys and Transformers...
[Slam-cut to black screen, title reveal]
NARRATOR: (over matching title text) How Shor Got His Heart Back
[Scroll producer credits, etc.]
NARRATOR: Coming soon.
[After short pause: Camera reveals Shor drinking in a bar while talking to bartender]
SHOR: "Sometimes you've got to sacrifice everything for what you believe in."
Y'FFRE: "That's a good story. I like it. Nobody's gonna believe you, though."
[Pan to reveal Popular Celebrity #239 Cameo at other end of bar]
TALOS: "Yeah, but it'll get you a lot of free drinks. Next one's on me, bartender."