» Sun Dec 23, 2012 4:01 pm 
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a radioactive mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Mr. House soon would be there.
The children of Little Lamplight were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugarbombs danced in their heads.
And Rose of Sharon Cassidy in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just splattered ghoul brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the briast of the nuclear winter’s snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to scrap metal below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a minigun, and eight Super Mutants dear.
With a little old driver, so lively and faster,
I knew in a moment it must be The Master.
More rapid than his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Dog! now, Marcus! now, Fawkes and Lilly!
On, Lieutenant! On, Richard Grey! on, on Tabitha and Harry!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild nuclear missiles fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mushroom cloud to the sky.
So up to the house-top the ICBMs they flew,
With the sleigh full of FEV, and President Richardson too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little feral goof.
As I drew in my Dinner Bell, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Charon came with a bound.
He was dressed all in Power Armor, from his head to his foot,
And his clot all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Nuka Grenades he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Knight, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his decayed skin how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a Psycho Syringe he held tight in his teeth,
And the Atomic Valence Tri-Radi-Oscillator it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was thin and decomposing, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And killed all the ghouls, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
