b]Chapter One.[/b]

It was dark in the Capital Wasteland. I needed a place to sleep, I needed food and water. I could hear screaming and gun fire, I only had a 10mm Pistol and very limited ammo, which I hope would protect me from the worst.
"Hey you over there"
I turned and seen a Old Man standing there.
"Your the one! Your Arkham Astol"
"Whats it to you"
"I need your help"
The Old Man stood there, his legs were shaking.
"Follow me"
He turned and walked off, I started to follow him. There was more yelling up ahead, and then BOOM there was a huge Explosion, Wastelanders and Mirelurks were flying through the air.
"Joesph! Joesph!" The Old Man was calling out.
"Pa? Is that you?" A Voice replied.
Joesph walked out from a pile of Rubble with a Gatling Laser.
"Whose that Pa?" Joesph asked poiting at me.
"He's going to help us Joesph"
"Whoa, Slow down there Gramps" I replied.
"Moving on"The Old Man said and continued.
"Hey you"
"Me?"
"Yeah, You even think about killing my Father, Ill kill you quicker the you can say Boo" He said.

After about 20 Minutes we reached a Metal Door, Joesph opened it and we walked in. We were in an Underground Cavern, We kept on walking through and we reached a Locker ith a Number pad.
Joesph entered the code and the Locker opened. Inside were 2 Desert Eagles, A M16A4 Carbine with a Laser Pointer and a Grenade Launcer Attached and Ammo for the Guns.
"Take them Arkham" Joesph told me. "Ill be waiting here"
I grabbed both Desert Eagles and the Carbine, and followed Pa. We got to a Ledge and looked down.
"You brought me here, to show me a City of Raiders?" I was stunned.
"Wrong Arkham, This is my City well it was These Raiders have been here for Months Me and Joesph have tryed to rid of them ever since they grew and took over. They have killed off everyone the lived here except me and my Son. But we have failed, so we need help"
"Well lets take them out"
"No!"
"Why Not?"
"Go back to Joesph"
I looked at him, and walked off to Joesph.
"So, You want to take them out?"
"Yeah"
"Your not a One Man Army Arkham...Listen I know a Mutant, He wont attack Humans. His name is Fawkes, He told me he'd be at the Musuem Of National History, You should go there Find him, Bring him back here,and we will take them all out."

I nodded, and walked back to the door and I opened it, I started to walk off. The Sun was rising and there was a Large Explosion to the East, I turned with the Carbine Pointing in that Direction. I could see Raiders running towards me. I dropped stomach first onto the ground and waited. As they got closer I stood up and starting firing the Carbine hitting one Raider, then another Raider, then the last Raider. I reloaded my Carbine and kept it Drawn.
"HELP! Help me someone?"
I looked around and seen a Super Mutant Camp. I advanced towards the screams for help, I snuck up behind an old Army Truck and ran into a Tent and seen a Wasteland Captive.
I put my Carbine on a table and kneel down to grab the ropes that were tying her wrists together. Two Super Mutants came in with Baseball Bats, I stood up. One took a swing I ducked and punched him in the stomach, I grabbed the Bat from his hands and hit him in the knee.I stood up and swung it at the other hit him in the head, I then reached for my Desert Eagle and fired and shot one and then the other.

In 2 Days I got to the Musuem Of National History, I came out off a Metro, I Turned around and there it was in the Sunlight, The Musuem Of National History.
"Finally" I sighed as I walked up the stairs.
I heard a Bullet whizz pastmy head then there was a barrage off 5mm Bullets flying past me I jumped to Left and rolled behind a Broken Wall. I poked my head around the corner and pulled out my Carbine, and started firing at the Super Mutant. My bullets missed and the Doors on the Musuem flew open and a Mutant with a Super Sledge came running out, and started hitting the Mutant with the Minigun. I ran over to Fawkes as I got to him, there was a Huge Explosion. We both turned and found that the Musuem was in Rubble.

Will Fawkes accept to Help Arkham, Joesph and Pa?
Will they discover what happened to the Musuem?
Stay tuned and find out...

Relatively good, but it needs more description. It's too plain right now, and that leads to it being uninteresting.

I like it, and i want another chapter please?

I like it

More description. It feels quite bland to me. Not enough descriptive words, not enough explanation for what is happening.


Don't use big walls of text.

Paragraphs are god here, obey their law and they will reward you with a mac. Now get to work.