Right, so long story short, I ate a [censored] poisoned apple. My initial reaction was "Ah, [censored], better drink some anti-poison." But NO. NO THEY DON'T WORK!!

So my next idea is to go the Chapel and pray for the Divines to get the damn thing out of my stomach (because I can't apparently stick my fingers down my throat to get rid of it...) but because I'm in the Dark Brotherhood, I'm a 'Wicked One' and must 'Repent my sins'... What a load of crap.

I'm ashamed to have done this, but I duplicated hundreds of Strong Potions of Healing and set off to go the Pilgrim's Way. I noticed that the bar that indicates an effects' time remaining on the player was oh-so-slowly decreasing, so that gave me hope. I was half-way through the Pilgrim's Way when the timer ran out... BUT THE DAMN EFFECT STAYED THERE!!!

I just gave up and went back to my last save of an hour ago. I've never felt like I've truly wasted an hour like I had tonight. I was pissed.

So, I was wondering if praying at a Chapel would have even done anything? Is there nothing short of mods of console commands to rid of the poison and the inevitable death?

The Poison Effect is actually a permenant Ability added onto the character, so no - praying to a Shrine (Deepscorn Hollow's Shrine to Sithis is specifically designed for those not in the Divine's favor) would have no effect.

The only way to reverse the effect is through the Console.