yeah, well. maybe i'm just being difficult.
for my current character, becoming a vampire makes a lot of sense, roleplaying-wise. i'm pleased with the removal of stage 4 aggro, since this allows to stay starved and not feed on the population, which adds an element of self-control and "taming the inner beast" to my char (much like what paarthurnax has to say at a certain point).
however, while glowy eyes and split lip is still bearable, the vampire lord form isn't acceptable. i just don't ever want the ability to turn into this... thing... added to my character. not even serana-style (just never do it).
what is more, the volkihar people don't seem to be the nicest bunch to hang out with either, so my only option seems to be the dawnguard if i want to play the dlc (which i do).
now, the dawnguard obviously won't like my being a vampire, at least i recall at some point they tell me to get cured, i recall from an earlier playthrough.
so. my plan to resolve this is this:
stay a (starved population-friendly daisy-picking self-controlled and NORMAL) vampire as long as i can, until they tell me to gtf cured. do that. finish their quests (will enable use of light spells and weapons for a key fight as well) and afterwards getting infected with the blessed sanguine vampiris again. does this make sense? are there alternatives? how best to force re-infection?
wtf. dawnguard actually makes it difficult for me to be a vampire 

plus my character can properly say goodbye to his favorite blade (meridia's), which was locked up in lakeview manor's cellar safe for the obvious reasons. is the dawnguard always in "cure or gtfo" mode after a certain point, or does that revert to "shrug, who cares", like in the beginning, at any time again? say, after beating the main dawnguard quest (so i can peacefully solve the remaining sidequests with fangs).
It would have been very cool if you could keep the old eyes by staying a regular Vampire and not becoming a VL.
If I changed anything for my own character, I'd keep the red line and change the headlight eyes. And since when was there ever such a thing as a male Dunmer who wasn't sixy?