Although thrust into her new found station as the Yarl of Solitude and Haafingar Hold, Elisif the Fair is the only Yarl with any sense of relative self assurance. However inexperienced she is as a Yarl her confidence in who she is shows as she sits erect on the throne. All the rest of them sit slouched with their heads cocked to right like someone on Thorazine for behavior disorders. Just saying.

loooool, I just noticed that, but I think its to do with the animation for sitting in the game, its different for men and women. But then again some of the female jarls sit like men as well.

Nothing to do with animation, sit your female character in a throne and she'll slouch!

Elisif is the only Jarl with any sense of decorum !

She also

tries to turn a holiday into a weekly party and completely disrupt city functions

Send the entire legion in skyrim to clear out wolf skull cave

Pull the entire legion back to solitude during the middle of the war to hold a parade

loves thalmor parties and wishes there were more of them

abandons those that stood with her when the war reaches her

It's not hard to be relaxed on the throne if you're not really thinking about your actions or anything at all really.

I have better things to do other than going to every main city and look at how the jarls sit in their thrones

And it is jarl not yarl