I'm running through a second playthrough and just completed rebuilding Lakeview Manor. I had Lydia with me while I built it, and I remember the first time I played through she offered to become steward almost immediately after I finished the "small house/entryway" construction. This time through, she never offered to become steward and also doesn't have the steward dialogue available to pick (only generic "What does it mean to be a thane? What does a housecarl do? etc).

After I had totally completed the house, I continued to have her follow me around, and at complete random once in front of the house she triggered the automatic dialogue saying "A fine home such as this needs a steward..", so I said yes to her. But, still had issues, she was still being a "companion" though and wouldn't return to the the manor when I told her to stop following me. I had no steward dialogue available, like the options to buy animals, a carriage, bard, etc.

After that happened, I looked in the house and realized I only had my own double bed and two children's beds, so, assuming this was an issue due to her not having a bed to sleep in, I reloaded my save to right before she offered to be steward, declined her and said I need to think about it, then built the additional beds for the steward and bard. I returned to her and again, no dialogue available to offer her stewardship, and she has yet to ask for it again automatically.

So, is this a common bug that can be fixed somehow? I tried to use console commands, resetai, disable/enable, resurrect, etc, and still no offer to be steward or dialogue. Maybe I need to reload even further back before she asks me to be steward to make the beds?

Lydia is one of the NPC's that can be hired as a steward to buy materials for building your house in Hearthfire.

If you open dialogue with her near your started house with Hearthfire installed, you will be able to ask her if she is interested in being your steward, to which she will reply something along the lines of "I'd be more than happy to be your steward."

After this, she may only be used as a steward when she is not a follower, and when she is not a follower, will wait at the house she was nearest to when she was hired as a steward.

Her dialogue will also change when talking to her about steward-related things versus when she is your follower.

I get the feeling people don't really read posts around here..

She has no steward dialogue available, follower or not. She does not have the option to offer her stewardship. She only asks for it automatically after a set period of time (I'm assuming), which even if I do accept her as my steward, she does not stop following like she should as normal, and if I tell her to stop following me she does not return to the home she is supposed to steward of, but all the way back to Whiterun. I do not get any steward dialogue available when talking to her, even inside of and directly outside of my house.

Like I said, this is a bug, not working as intended, there isn't a simple "talk to her to see the options" fix. I'd appreciate it if someone who actually reads the issues would reply.