I did the Stormcloaks quests to their end. I did the Wolf Queen quests to their end. I assisted 5 people in Haafingar. I did most of the Bard's College quests. I think it was before I started the Wolf Queen quests, I was given the option to buy Proudspire Manor, but at the time I didn't have enough money, so I did some more quests. Now I don't even have the option when I talk to the Jarl or to her steward, Falk Firebeard. Any suggestions?

As for proudspire itself, the wolf queen quest has nothing to do with becoming thane or being allowed to buy the house.

Before you can buy the house, you need to complete the wolf skull cave quest, then you need to complete a quest for the jarl that has you take an war horn to the shrine of talos.

After completing that quest, you can buy the house, after you own it you can be named thane.

If the Jarl doesn't give you that quest, then you have not done enough quests in solitude to be well known enough to be considered thane yet.

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btw, have you installed the unofficial skyrim patch ???? - or maybe you have some mod's that can interfere with that quest ????