I need to know everything about computers. Their hardware, software, how to fix problems, everything. But I don't know where to start in a way that will make sense, so I hope that someone here will help in this regard. I know absolutely nothing about computers, so keep that in mind when explaining certain concepts and details. Even articles on the subject for the complete and absolute idiot would help immensely.

I'm asking because I've set up my computer (HP Pavillion 500 PC) wrong, so now it's immensely slow, it takes 20-25 minutes just to start up, and just this week it started to have massive lag spikes about two hours after I'm on the Internet, making it difficult and time-consuming to close all programs and shut down the computer. And though I know nothing about computers, I can tell it will only get worse from here. My brother (who knows a bit more about computers than I) tried clearing the registry, defragged it, updating the computer, uninstalling some programs, and it's still slow if not slower. I really need help, I have no idea where to start searching for solutions to the problem, and computers in general. I know there is a thread for this kind of thing, but I want the main focus of this thread to be full of advice and links to articles that will educate me on everything to know about computers.

I recently learned back in the 90s they had floppy disks instead of USB drives.

Mine makes a funny noise if I leave it on for too long. Apart from that, I'm very much in the dark as well.

20 minutes to start up? "Format C:"

Again stupid with computers.

He's basically telling you that you should wipe the hard drive and reinstall the operating system - eg, if you messed up the install/setup, it's do-over time.

This is assuming there's nothing physically wrong with the hardware, of course.

It sounds like it may be time to find some local help that can provide some hands-on assistance. It can require a lot of time to walk someone that's unfamiliar with computers through troubleshooting the kind of problem you appear to be having.

I'm assuming you're kidding with the "tell me everything" stuff. People spend years learning to troubleshoot PC problems. There's no way we could provide you with any sort of useful education in a forum thread. I'd suggest taking a class if you're interested in becoming proficient with computing technology quickly.

Not even a class. These days, a simple Google search inquiring into your problem will often bring up a thread someone else made, with a response that has a solution. That's how I got rid of this terrible advertisemant virus my computer had grabbed at some point.

You can learn a lot on the internet if you just take the time to look for it.

Sure, I'm just speaking in terms of going from "I know nothing" to being proficient in a short amount of time. One can certainly learn a lot from searching the internet and experimentation, but it takes time to build a real working knowledge of computer technology that way (although I'd argue that self-teaching is a great way to retain those types of skills).

Besides, "my computer is suddenly slow" is going to result in about a bazillion results describing problems with drastically different causes.

You always make me chuckle.

I have a question: My computer is powered by gerbils, but now I can't get my computer to start. I was told they could go at least a year without food and water, which is good since their crumbs might mess up the inside of the tower. It's been about three years now, should I check on them or will the gerbils be fine a couple more years before I have to feed them?

Could you please tell us, which exact 500 series HP computer do you have ????

I mean the number after the 500. !!!!!

for example: HP 500-075.

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As for learning all about computers, so everything, it will take time, i would say more than you imagine.

Start first with the easy part.

Building a computer from scratch. It's not a magic thing, but you will learn things as the time goes by.

I don't understand right, you have a three year old computer, not starting up ????

Aw shucks.

No no, the gerbils have been in there for three years now. Am I supposed to feed them now?

Ha, ha i understand....

Yes, exactly what i meant. That may be an overreaction, of course. Especially with pre-built machines where you may not have install discs for the OS.

Such massive slowdown may be caused by virus or other malware. Formating the hard drive does get rid of those, but it may be like swatting flies with a sledgehammer Run a good virus and malware detector on it first. If that doesn't help, look trough your installed programs and see if there's something that you don't think should be there. I've been using Microsoft's own Security Essentials that is free for (legal) Windows installs, and http://www.safer-networking.org/ for other malware.

Though on my grandmother's old computer it has been the anti-virus programs (F-Secure and Norton) making it ridiculously slow

It will run much better if you replace them with two hamsters and a guinea pig/