Planet in Darkness-Fanfic

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 10:50 am

March 12, 2345
London, England


Gary looked over the barricade, seeing the vehicles approaching. Pulling the hammer of his gun, he turned to Walter.

"You prepared?" Gary asked.

Walter breathed in heavily, then rapidly shook his head.

"No, no I'm not." he replied anxiously.

He looked over the barricade to see the vehicles were much closer. Gary turned to Walter and nodded his head. Gary pulled his scarf over his mouth and tightened it, before standing up and letting bullets spread about toward the vehicles approaching. The vehicle that had taken more damage appeared to have gore splashing into the windshield after the bullet penetrated the glass. Gary crouched back down, watching the GEP members unloading from the vans into the streets.

"Give 'em hell!!" Gary shouted to his fellow soldiers as he jumped over the barricade and charged at the GEP members. Gary looked behind him to see the hundreds of other Ghouls following Gary's lead. Gary smiled under the scarf, and began firing at the attackers. A GEP soldier caught up to Gary, and Gary pounced the soldier to the gravel.

"This was your choice, friend." Gary said, revving up his Demolisher.

The saw began moving. Gary laughed as he brought it to the GEP soldier's face and grinded away the skull and flesh. Gary could see the other Ghouls clashing with the GEP as blood squirted into his face. Gary got up and kicked the dead soldier's head to the ground, moved behind the fight toward the vans. He walked up to the passenger's side and opened the door, to see a driver cowaring under the dashboard. Gary dragged the drived out and shot at him. He got into the van and turned the key, which was already in, and started the car. He backed it up, and rammed a large group of GEP soldiers into another van, crushing their bodies into the metal. Gary climbed out and stood on the hud of the car.

There were a few soldiers still alive, struggling to get out. Gary pulled out a grenade, pulled out the pin, and tossed it into the helpless few soldiers who were trapped in between the two vehicles. Gary ran away to a safe distance, and watched the grenade explode onto the GEP soldiers and blow off bits of the two vans. Some of the other Ghouls were impressed at what Gary did, but the fight was not over. Gary moved into the street, coming behind a Ghoul who was preparing to get killed. He tackled the human down and tossed him into a small crowd of IGR members, leaving him to his fate.
Gary's radio began going off. He pulled it out and ran to a calmer area, behind a support column to an office building.

"Lieutenant, is backup needed?" the general on the other line asked.

"No, sir. You'll be proud of us, alright." Gary said, dropping his Demolisher and unholstering his pistol. He fired at a few soldiers who had attempted following him.

"You sure, lieutenant? I can hear all that gunfire. We could send in some shock troopers.."

"Shock troopers? Sure thing, the quicker we get done with this, the better." Gary said.

"Good, then. I'll send in a truck full of them." the general replied.

"Sir, yes sir."

Gary put away the radio and holstered his pistol. He picked up his Demolisher, and brought the armstrap around his shoulders. Another GEP member came toward him. He was heavily reinforced with thick steel, and he had picked up a fallen Ghoul's Demolisher. He brought the saw towards Gary. Gary ducked down and turned on his saw, and attempted sawing the higher ranking GEP. He brought his ripper's saw to Gary's, and forced it toward Gary. Gary pushed back toward the GEP soldier, sparking a duel. The saw slipped off of Gary's, and both Demolishers were forced in the opposite direction.

Gary ran away from the GEP soldier, who was now shooting at him. Gary quickly grasped onto a lower ranked GEP soldier and used him as a shield. The huge man stomped toward Gary and sawed straight through the weak GEP soldier. Gary looked toward his stomache to see the chainsaw ripped right through the GEP soldier's chest and was coming closer Gary. Gary tossed the dying soldier to the large man.

"You [censored] psycho!!" Gary shouted, firing away at the lumbering man.

The huge soldier ripped his saw from the GEP soldier's stomache and tossed him to the ground. The GEP soldier grunted loudly as he crunched his bones to the gravel, and he coughed out blood before dying. The GEP soldier in steel armor began clanking toward Gary, whose bullets were missing. Gary ran through the battle to the other end, and shot at some lower ranked GEP soldiers. The huge man in steel smashed down people in his way, GEP or IGR. Just as he was closing in, the huge truck of shock troopers drove in. The truck stopped, and let out about twenty men in huge power armor with flamethrowers.

The GEP soldier who had been following Gary had suddenly disappeared. The shock troopers flamed down remaining GEP soldiers,leaving none behind. The gunfire and shouting ceased and the IGR members regrouped at the original barricading. Gary retrieved his radio and called in to the general.

"Sir, we won." he said.

"I know you guys did. We'll bring you back to base soon." the general responded.

Gary turned to the other IGR members and moved on to them, awaiting the pickup.
_________________________________________________

What do you guys think? Especially those in the RP..
User avatar
Mélida Brunet
 
Posts: 3440
Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2007 2:45 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 5:43 pm

Nice :thumbsup: , but we need you back in the RP thread atm, but when you get more time please write some more :)
User avatar
Siobhan Wallis-McRobert
 
Posts: 3449
Joined: Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:09 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 1:54 pm

Nice :thumbsup: , but we need you back in the RP thread atm, but when you get more time please write some more :)


+1
User avatar
Keeley Stevens
 
Posts: 3398
Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:04 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 7:40 pm

Great story. I look forward to more.

GEP?
IGR?
User avatar
Yvonne Gruening
 
Posts: 3503
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:31 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 1:42 pm

Great story. I look forward to more.

GEP?
IGR?


Ghoul Extermination Program.

International (?) Ghoul Rebellion.
User avatar
Amy Cooper
 
Posts: 3400
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:38 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 4:17 pm

Thans guys. What I'm doing with this story is every update I make is a diffeent country revolving around a different character, and later on I'll loop back to the first. So, lets say that I started in London, and I go to Australia, Japan, Russia, and Germany. Then, I'll come back to London to continue the story, and move on to different places.

GEP: Ghoul Extermination Program

IGR: International Ghoul Rebellion
User avatar
Liv Staff
 
Posts: 3473
Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2006 10:51 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 10:44 pm

Well-written, but try not to godmode with Gary, because that's what you've showed him as. Ghoul or not, I doubt he'd be able to effortlessly pick up a 160+ LB man and throw him god knows how far into another crowd of ghouls. And if it did require effort, write down that it required effort, don't assume we know everything.

Instead of: He tackled the human down and tossed him into a small crowd of IGR members, leaving him to his fate.

He tackled the unsuspecting human off his fellow ghoul, and punched him in the face. Groaning and screaming, Gary lifted the battered GEP soldier above his shoulders, and hurled him to the ground five feet away, where Gary's allies proceeded to rip him apart.
User avatar
Charlotte Lloyd-Jones
 
Posts: 3345
Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2006 4:53 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 8:03 pm

Well-written, but try not to godmode with Gary, because that's what you've showed him as. Ghoul or not, I doubt he'd be able to effortlessly pick up a 160+ LB man and throw him god knows how far into another crowd of ghouls. And if it did require effort, write down that it required effort, don't assume we know everything.

Instead of: He tackled the human down and tossed him into a small crowd of IGR members, leaving him to his fate.

He tackled the unsuspecting human off his fellow ghoul, and punched him in the face. Groaning and screaming, Gary lifted the battered GEP soldier above his shoulders, and hurled him to the ground five feet away, where Gary's allies proceeded to rip him apart.

That is kind of better.. I'll add stuff like that in future updates, but I knew the godmod thing was coming. Also, I'll be updating soon. Anyone have ideas on what country it should be in?
User avatar
sally R
 
Posts: 3503
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:34 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 8:12 pm

Try Guatemala or the Mayan Peninsula. Fighting in the tropical forests and caves there would be pretty cool. Plus with all the Mayan ruins that they could fight in, and maybe uncover some ancient Mayan God or something that the GEP and IGR have to band together to destroy.
User avatar
Jose ordaz
 
Posts: 3552
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:14 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 10:09 am

Try Guatemala or the Mayan Peninsula. Fighting in the tropical forests and caves there would be pretty cool. Plus with all the Mayan ruins that they could fight in, and maybe uncover some ancient Mayan God or something that the GEP and IGR have to band together to destroy.

Mayan God? Was that a joke? I'll do the Mayan Peninsula part, but the Mayan God? Seriously?
User avatar
Lou
 
Posts: 3518
Joined: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:56 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 6:34 pm

Half joke, but yeah. I just thought the fighting in the mayan ruins would be cool :D

I was mostly just seeing if u would go for that lol.
User avatar
rheanna bruining
 
Posts: 3415
Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2006 11:00 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 3:45 pm

Half joke, but yeah. I just thought the fighting in the mayan ruins would be cool :D

I was mostly just seeing if u would go for that lol.

I'm not THAT desperate.. So, Mayan Peninsula... I'll need an information resource for that so I know what I'm dealing with here. It'll be fun, I can have a recon squad going through a thick rainforest and the GEP are setting up shop at one of the Mayan pyramids, and I use stealth to take them down. How about it?
User avatar
Cameron Wood
 
Posts: 3384
Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 3:01 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 1:41 pm

Sounds cool. But be sure not to make it JUST about fighting, try to have some depth n story. But I do understand, this is a prty fighty fanfic, so I'm not going to complain too much on that point.
User avatar
Jordan Moreno
 
Posts: 3462
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 4:47 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 4:00 pm

Sounds cool. But be sure not to make it JUST about fighting, try to have some depth n story. But I do understand, this is a prty fighty fanfic, so I'm not going to complain too much on that point.

Yeah, you really can't explain no fighting when the world is in war..
User avatar
Susan
 
Posts: 3536
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 2:46 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 6:02 pm

Yucatan Peninsula'll *mayan peninsula* be a cool idea for this.. I'll try n get a map of a good area fer the fanfic.
User avatar
Liii BLATES
 
Posts: 3423
Joined: Tue Aug 22, 2006 10:41 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 11:25 pm

Also, does anyone here need me to get the timeline so people who aren't in the RP know how we got here?
User avatar
Sylvia Luciani
 
Posts: 3380
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 2:31 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 10:48 am

Hey anun how bout I'll be ur resource? I'll make a map asap, here're some pictures of some of the ancient ruins that you might want to consider:

http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/2616542.jpg

^This one'd be cool; GEP and IGR soldiers fighting up and down the stairs, groups of flankers and skirmishers going the long way around to close around their opponents.

http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/133768.jpg

^I really like this one, with GEP snipers and riflemen picking off ghouls from the openings, IGR shocktroopers burning out the alcoves and steps with their heavy flamethrowers.

http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/135576.jpg

^Also a great one, IGR trucks thundering up to the structures, hurling grenades from the windows, the GEP soldiers awaiting them and meeting them at several different points along the ruin. Confusion and rage flutters throughout the battle, both sides fighting ferociously.
User avatar
Russell Davies
 
Posts: 3429
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2007 5:01 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 5:10 pm

I'll use the first one, it's the most suitable. I already have the update forming in my mind, this will be good..
User avatar
Quick draw II
 
Posts: 3301
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 4:11 pm

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 9:09 pm

*Shrug* you might consider the others in other chapters, no?

I thought the second one would be the most interesting, but it's your choice :D.

Either way it'll be rlly cool.
User avatar
Marcia Renton
 
Posts: 3563
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 5:15 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 9:45 am

March 14, 2345
Yucatan Peninsula


The helicopter hovered lower to the opening in the trees, but not getting to the ground. The pilot turned back and looked at Santos, who was clipping a rope to his belt.

"You guys sure you'll be alright? There might be hundreds of them in that place.. I mean, I could just hang around nearby if you guys need help.." the pilot said.

"No, no, please, we'll be fine. We didn't have this job as our profession to have people watching us all the time." Santos replied.

Santos stood up in the helicopter, and opened the sliding door. The pilot sighed and nodded. He climbed out of the seat and grabbed the rope. He tied it around a hand railing on the ceiling, and tossed the rope out of the open door.

"Good luck." he said, returning to the cockpit.

Santos breathed in deeply, and dropped out of the door. When he was out of the helicopter, he clutched onto the rope with his hand and slowly repelled down to the ground. Slowly, but steadily, he made it to the grassy ground and unhooked himself from the rope. He waited on the other three to come down, then the rope was pulled back up into the helicopter. The helicopter stayed in the air a few moments, then hovered off into the distance.

"Alright, let's move out." Santos said, jogging through the forest.

He pushed down large weeds and leaves out of his face and came into a clearer area with less trees. Santos stopped jogging when he heard some voices up ahead.

"Get down!" Santos whispered to the others as he jumped into a bush.

A couple of seconds later, two GEP soldiers came walking through the dirt road. The base couldn't have been far.

"I can't handle this heat, man, it's gonna kill me. We need to get back up north where the weather isn't hell." one of the GEP soldiers said to the other.

"I know what you mean. Hang on a sec, I need to go take a piss." the other said as he came by.

The GEP soldier came to a bush a few feet from Santos and his crew, and began emptying his bladder. Santos slowly moved out of the bush, and towards the man. Santos slid out his knife and as the GEP soldier was finishing, Santos pressed the knife into the soldier's neck. Santos covered the soldier's mouth as he dragged him to the bush and stabbed him repeatedly. Santos dropped the body and exited the bush, beckoning to the other three. The other soldier was leaning against a tree, smoking.

"Carlos, this [censored] is yours." Santos whispered to Carlos.

Carlos came out from behind the bush and pulled his ski mask down over his face. He had a silenced 9mm in his hand, and he aimed at the GEP soldier for a few seconds. Santos watched the bullet blow out the soldier's kneecap and the soldier fall to the ground, shouting in pain. Carlos let out another bullet, into the soldier's temples. Bood sprayed from the other end of his head onto the bark of the tree.

"Good job, Carlos." Santos said.

"No problem." Carlos responded.

Santos walked along the dirt road, which led to a large clearing. There was a huge structure in the middle, and the exterior was swarming with GEP. Santos laid down in the dirt and pulled the sniper off of his back and took off the cap that was on the scope. He looked through, searching for a way around the soldiers. He could come around the side and go up the stairs when they weren't looking. First, he'd have to take out the soldiers guarding the entrance. He moved over and got the scope onto a soldier. He zoomed in, and got a clear opening for the soldier's head. Santos pulled the trigger, and the soldier dropped to the ground with blood spewing out of his head. The guard next to him immediately went to check out the body. Exactly what Santos wanted. Santos shot down the second guard as well.

Santos got up and entered the forest, but staying near the opening. He moved along until he reached an area directly east of the structure. Santos ran out into the field, and sprinted as fast as he possible could to the ruin. After running for yards and yards, he pressed himself against the stone exterior, gasping for air.

"Here comes the really difficult part."

Santos said as he kept his back to the wall and moved along it. He reached a part that was low enough for them to climb up. He hoisted himself on top of the stone and laid down. When the others were up, he slowly made his way up the steps. It was a long way. The moment was intense, because any moment the GEP soldiers could spot them. He finally got to the top, undetected, and scuffled into the opening. Equipping his silenced 9mm, he trotted down the stairs into the deep structure. A hallway at the bottom led to a large, round room with ancient looking platforms made of stone. There were about five GEP soldiers lurking inside.

"Move in."

Santos whispered. The other two IGR members following Santos were infantry. They wielded Demolishers. They ran past Santos and into the room, rippig apart the GEP soldiers and shooting. Santos and Carlos entered the room, and came to one of the platforms. There was a portable terminal laid on top. Santos cameto it and attempted entering the menu of the terminal, but there was a password lock.

"Check the bodies for a password." Santos said.

The other three searched the bodies of the GEP soldiers, and Carlos approached Santos.

"Got something." he said, handing a paper to Santos.

Santos unfolded the paper. The word written was 'raelcun'. Santos typed it in to the terminal, and the password as granted. The terminal opened into the menu. Santos opened the page titled 'plans'. There was a large amount of information on what the soldiers were commanded to do, but something shocking was mentioned. The leader of the GEP was collecting nuclear missiles and was planning on firing them to get rid of the IGR.

"This is what we came here for." Santos said to the others.

He got out his radio and called in to the pilot.

"Hey, we got what we need. You need to come get us. Go a bit north of where you dropped us off and pick us up at the opening of a huge structure. There's some guys here, but you just need to hurry." Santos said.

"Well, alright. Give me a minute." the pilot responded.

Santos beckoned to the others and jogged throug the hall and up the stairs to the main opening of the pyramid. He waited a few minutes, and the helicopter came out of the distance and nearing the pyramid. The GEP soldiers were getting curious. The helicopter got close to the opening of the pyramid, and the GEP soldiers realized that it was IGR, and began firing. The helicopter reached the opening, close enough for Santos and the other members to climb in.

"Come on!!" the pilot shouted.

Santos ran toward the helicopter and jumped in. He landed hard onto the floor, but got up and sat on one of the seats. He got out his sniper and fired at some of the GEP soldiers. There wouldn't be much time left. The other three finally got in, and the helicopter got into the air and flew off. Breathing heavily, Santos got out his radio and called in to one of the generals.

"Sir.. Sir, you there?" Santos said.

"Yes? What is it?" the general asked.

"We have a problem. A really big problem. The GEP? They're planning to fire nuclear missiles."
User avatar
Amy Masters
 
Posts: 3277
Joined: Thu Jun 22, 2006 10:26 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 11:35 am

Any ideas on the update?
User avatar
Spaceman
 
Posts: 3429
Joined: Wed May 23, 2007 10:09 am

Post » Sat May 01, 2010 1:39 pm

Not sure, I'm trying to find stuff to fix on my story.
User avatar
Genocidal Cry
 
Posts: 3357
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 10:02 pm


Return to Fallout Series Discussion