he DLClist.txt that is in AppData is completely different than my plugins.txt or loadorder.txt. i think that it's causing lotsa problems because of this. i guess the dlclist gets updated when i open the skyrimlauncher.exe?

i've been using an old NMM from few months ago because it worked fine and some others were having bugs. then i stopped playing for awhile so never upgraded the nmm. also i try not to ever open skyrimlauncher if i can help it since doing so can change your inis. so maybe between those 2 things, my dlclist has become seriously outdated or something. all i know is it's dated from months ago and has a lot more and different mods than i have now. if i open the launcher it has a ton of stuff checked and out of order, opposed to how it is in nmm. i think it even sometimes puts me over the 255 esp limit.

anyone have any ideas?

Wow.. PC gaming looks complicated. I like being able to just turn a game on and play it. That OP may as well be in French.

But this may be better off in the mods section?

Your DLClist.txt gets updated whenever you open SkyrimLauncher.exe. If it finds new .esps, it will add them as inactive and your load order will be messed up. Best not to use the launcher.

Also, unless you want to manage your load order yourself, you may want to download http://boss-developers.github.io/ and have it sort things out for you.

PC gaming isn't complicated. Modding however, is another story and although it's a lot simpler than before, you still need to know your mods and the tools you use to manage them.