Sup CD. Blaze here with a question. What is feeling "Incomplete" ? I was talking to an associate of mine and she brought up the topic of feeling Incomplete. She said that without someone in ones life (A lover) that one could never feel like a "whole being". This left me puzzled and tilting my head like a puppy dog. When i asked her what she meant..She got mad and called me insensitive and too logical .

So my question(s), Do you feel like a complete person by yourself? Or do you need to have someone around to feel complete? What does feeling incomplete mean to you?

I'm definitely lacking in certain areas... but I don't need anyone to make me feel "whole" or to compensate for my shortcomings. I guess it's something that dependent people long for.

Even when I'm "with" another person I have to be ok in my own mind in order to feel "complete." If I require the other person in order to feel complete then that is likely to foster a codependent relationship, which isn't good for either party. My guess is that your "associate" isn't completely happy with herself, and external influences have taught her that she can fix that by adding another person. IMO, that's wrong. I think we should try to be complete on our own, and we should look for others that compliment us rather than compete us.

I hate to say it, but it seems like this phenomenon is more common in women than in men, and I tend to blame social conventions that encourage women to measure their self-worth by how desirable they are as a mate. IMO, this is a bad thing that cultivates insecurity.

I feel complete.

Yea the dependent thing is what I was thinking though, I can't help but see that as a weakness.

I agree 100%. I believe people should be independent/self-reliant but that could be just how I was brought up . Maybe that's an insecurity on her part.

Also pls note, I'm not judging the women, Just asking a question due to my lack of understanding.

I found my better half

I'll probably be "incomplete" for the remainder of my life, I've given up on the whole fishing in the ocean deal.

What she meant was that she really wanted to pair up with someone. Totally understandable. It's just a way of putting that feeling. I think it's not uncommon as a metaphor.

What was she getting at, not feeling "complete"? I guess when you are with someone for a long time it's kind of a "hive mind" thing, I dunno. You echo back and forth. I wouldn't say it's a matter of being "incomplete", it's just like... you want to be understood.

I've been married almost 24 years. I cannot even comprehend being alone so I cannot even answer that question. Of course, one of us may die in a car accident or something, so we would find out the hard way if we would feel incomplete or not.

I have always been fine with it just being me, even before being "complete". I'd say its not healthy that you must have someone else in order to feel "complete". If you truly want to feel good about yourself or feel "complete" however you want to call it, you should start with your actual self.

Still, if you've been with someone for a long time and then it's all of a sudden taken away from you, perhaps then it would be understandable why one would feel incomplete without the other they've come to be with and care about.

I can understand what she's saying and all that, but it is a bit of a weakness. To me, at least.

Sure I'm complete. Every part of me is required in order to feel complete.

This is helping me understand the meaning. Since your wife has been in you life for so long, You'd feel like a different person without her, In essence, she's become a "part" of you. Going by that, I can sorta understand feeling incomplete without your other half (Though atm I'm too young and hardheaded to truly understand). The women with whom I had this little discussion with however, wasn't married for such a long time (Congrats btw.) and she was just breaking up with a boyfriend of 3 months...

So the only thing that I can think of is that I lack experience in such matters. Thanks to everyone who posted. Anymore ideas or w/e the heck, Post em

It probably just depends on the person and what they want in life. Personally, I dont feel fully complete unless I'm in war, battle, a fight, post apocalyptic society, basically any time i dont have physical conflict - who cares about a lover, i want battle.

I feel like i should have been born into a society like Vikings or Samurai who are bred for battle and find honor in dying during battle. If i had any place i want to go after death, it would be Valhalla.

So myself, I'm not fully complete until [censored] hits the fan in the world.

If I didn't, that means that I'm dying.

Do I feel incomplete? Yea, I guess so.

Would being with someone else make me feel complete? Nope, don't think so.

I get what your associate is talking about, but some of us are used to being on our own, and actually prefer it. Though for right now I'm not sure if I've got someone or not, but I'm continuing on as if I still am perma-single, if that makes sense....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpWAlvWNZj0

Seriously though I don't need anyone to feel whole as that would imply that I'm half a man by myself which isn't true. It would be great to find the right woman for me (if she exists) but I'm fine without her.