Do you call your friends "sir" and your girlfriend/wife "ma'am" in South Carolina? We certainly don't here in the UK although we still treat them with respect. My point is that the English language varies in how it is used/interpreted from place to place.

I wasnt aware respect was confined by region.

It isn't, use of language varies by region.

I'm the one from SC, and perhaps not girlfriends and buddies, but family members like parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles get the sir and ma'am treatment, even from advlts.

I'd feel weird if my friend started calling me ma'am. (*￣m￣) Maybe you can try and call them something else? Like bro or dude or fembro or mate or w/e else you can think of, Just no sir or ma'am.

I wish I did that

Oh ok, apologies there. Nothing wrong in how you address your family at all. I guess it's how we're raised that dictates how we address our elders/family. Over here in the UK the use of sir/ma'am can be taken as insulting if used in the wrong context, but I assume that's essentially the same anywhere in the world.

Why does the fact that they're older than me entitle immediately to my respect? We're both voting members of society - our opinions should hence be equally valid. I dislike the emphasis American society places on Elders and the Military - revering both leads to cultural stagnation.

As for bosses - we use their names.

We don't 'revere' our elderly, it's that they've experienced more and may possibly know more than we as the younger do so we give them the initial respect of 'excuse me sir/ma'am'. It's not a term or revering either, it's just merely a formal show of social respect. It's like telling the cashier 'Thank you, sir' instead of 'thank you, dirty low wage worker'. It's like you're just being one of those people who wrongly assumes the worst about our society based on stereotypes....

I can understand they may have experience - but they may also have backwards views, so you must always be mindful when listening to them speak. You have to carry this mindset with anyone who could influence you, however, so I don't see why elders get the preferential treatment.

I just say 'Thank You' to cashiers.

For the most part I agree with this,however there have been numerous times where people have clearly told me they do not like being referred to as sir/ma'am. Usually after I explain to them why I chose those terms, they're generally more accepting of it, but not always.

Oh, young people can be backwards too. I've met FAR more older people with a square head on their shoulders than I have people my own age. Most people in the larter group are arrogant bastards screaming "I am the future!" as if that could somehow justify being an insufferable, disrespectful dike.

Maybe it's due to knighthood in the UK somewhat affecting the usage of 'sir' and 'ma'am' but here, sir isn't the highest form of honourifics. It's just a formal way of saying 'Mr.' or 'Miss/Ms/Mrs'. The latter groupings of Mr/Miss stuff is more business whereas sir and ma'am are titles of cordiality to show politeness. It doesn't mean we inherently revere them, just a form of social respect. I've called people maybe 4-5 years older than me sir/ma'am because it's just how we address people we don't know. Well, maybe that's more a Southern thing than US in general. It's a big country so I'm sure the usage varies.

I could have a debate about the 'hive-mind-society' we live in here, but I think it's for another thread. I only said that in my personal experience, the older one is, the more politically-right-wing, on average, their peers seem to be. Now, I imagine everyone mellows politicaly out round about 30, but the right is by definition conservative. Pinch of salt is definately required - though as I say, this is true of many people you meet. I tend to value someone's experience in a field, rather than age. If a 35 year old has spent 15 years in an industry, then you would think they'd be just as valid an authority as an elder of the same experience.

That could be the root of the practice, certainly. However, few enough people are knighted for it to be unusual to know a Knight, but enough are Knighted for people to be fairly unafraid or affected by the term (you might broach it conversationally, but it wouldn't effect how you speak to someone). If Sir is used less frequently here because of Knights - most Brits won't be aware that's why they don't use the term.

EDIT: I don't think i'd ever use miss/Mr, either

It's really nothing to do with the usage of knighthoods over here, it's just not how we speak generally. In fact most people that are knighted in this country insist on having the "sir" removed when they are addressed. It's quite fascinating how a language can vary in its usage in a relatively small area.

I don't really understand your reasoning toleratenoobs, I'd say treating elder's on a case by case basis is better than stereotyping them as wise sages or old racists.

I do strongly dislike respect supposedly being something you earn, yet there are so many people who get it for free. Such as politicians being 'the honourable'.

Well that's what I was getting at so - congratulations - you've got it!

If a teenager called me "sir" I'd assume they were either being sarcastic or calling me old...

But then again it bothers me when older people call me "young man", so maybe I'm just picky. Can't they just call me "man"?

There does seem to be a lot of vaguely ironic/sarcastic use of sir that I encouter though. Not really people using sir to say, "ha ha not really cause you're a loser", but more "ha ha I'm conscientiously being more polite than this situation would normally dictate and isn't that goofy and charming"

Well that's how I was raised. Always just looked at it as being polite and respectful. Not necessarily giving undo reapect but more presenting my self in a respectful manner.

When calling people sir/ma'am is a cultural thing, such as in the US. It always makes it feel less sincere, as if people are only saying it because it is tradition and not out of respect.

Well, if you call me "sir," I'll violently correct you. My proper honorific is "effendi."

I don't see the problem with addressing someone as "sir/ma'am" or "Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms". It's really just a social politeness thing. If someone is older than me, and I don't know them, I'll use these terms just like Martyr. It's what I've learnt growing up, to be courteous to people. However, there's a difference between politeness and respect. If I address someone with a title, that's just being polite - doesn't mean I have to respect the person, as such. You can't respect a stranger but you can show them courtesy. As for respect, that's something I show to my parents and teachers. I can call some of my teachers by their Christian name but they still get respect and it's all good. Addressing someone by their title doesn't always equal respect, but it can be a form if it.

I've seen it used a lot by jerkoffs in school, it doesn't really make me think of a person any better, really. If anything, they come off as contrived.

I call people sir but i use it more colloquially (as if someone is saying, "hello my good sir.")

This might be a way to transition it for you.

I don't use it enough actually, and I work part-time at a retirement home.