It seems to take away one of the remaining two wings once ive built one

You need to finish a wing before you can move onto the next.

They also all have to be different, You can't have kitchens for instance.

Never heard of such a glitch, and lots of people have built housies at Lakewood. It seems to be the most popular HF home site, either because it's pretty or because it's easy to get Falkreath's weinerhead of a jarl to like you.

It's not a glitch, but simply a feature to keep building the wings simple.