Ok. So I have a husband who hangs around the house, makes me food and somehow runs a shop in the middle of no where which earns gold for us. I have a hireling who travels with me and keeps me mostly safer.

My hireling asked me if I wanted him to be my steward. I've read a LITTLE about stewards. Can I have a hireling AND a steward? If so, do I tell my hireling to stay at the house and go hire someone else so they will follow me to the house, then switch them?

My Nord has her hireling, steward, and husband all in one person. It simplifies things.

Well, I have Lydia as a steward and I still ask her to follow me from time to time. No one comes to replace her.

If you are playing straight vanilla, you can have ONE active Follower (hireling, housecarl, Serena, etc.) and also have an active Steward at each of the build-it-yourself houses from Hearthfire. (And at each of the houses you could also have one Bard and one carriage driver as well.)

Yes, vanilla on PC. So the answer is I can have a hireling AND a steward. So the logistics: do I tell my hireling to stay at my house, go find whoever I want for a steward, hire him/her and ask them to follow me, taking them to my house, asking them to be steward and then ask my hireling to follow me again?

If you release your hireling they will go back to their starting place (or your home if they are your housecarl). You would then get another follower/hireling then ask them to be your steward. You can then go back and get the hireling you released earlier.

I have Faendal as my steward, Rayya (my Falkreath housecarl) at my Lakeview house as well, and Annekke Crag-jumper as my follower.

YOU have to activate the Steward. Usually, that's just a matter of Talking to your current Follower and saying, "How would you like to be my Steward for this house?" I believe you can also encounter a NPC and hire him to be the Steward at your nearest home.

Note: If you are a Thane in a hold where you build a house (Dawnstar, Morthal, Winterhold), when the house is finished, if the housecarl from that hold is NOT your active Follower, he/she will move themselves to the house and take up residence as the local security Guard for the property. (Same goes for non-Follower housecarls in the other holds.) In that case, when next you are at that DIY house, you can Talk to the housecarl and offer them the Steward position. They doff their armor and put on casual clothes, and you lose the Security Guard but get a Steward. (To keep both Steward and housecarl, you have to recruit a non-housecarl or housecarl from a different hold to become that Steward.)

Ok. So if I release my hireling, go find the steward I want and take them to my house, and go back to where my hireling resides and ask him to follow me, will he have the stuff on him he was carrying before?

If I am reading you correctly, you have two full time people at your house and one follower (hireling). Is that correct? If you have a steward and housecarl, could you also have a spouse? If that's the case, you could actually have three people living in your house (not counting children) and a hireling to follow you around.

I'm just trying to figure out how to make all this work and am getting a bit confused. Note that I do have a DYI house - Lakeview.

Get a follower who you want to be your steward

Go to your house

Talk to your follower there and ask them to be your steward - they will stop following you at this point

Go back to the follower you want to actually follow you

Ask them to follow you - they will still have all the equipment you gave them before

For your spouse, just talk to them after your marriage ceremony and tell them to live at your house.

Yes. You can have a steward and a housecarl. I built Lakeview before I was thane of Falkreath and my then follower became steward. I got another follower and when I became thane of Falkreath since I already had another follower the housecarl went to my home.

Having a spouse shouldn't be affected. Though I've never married in the game. Just seemed like a gimmick and a waste.

Permanent residents, you can have a housecarl (automatic), a steward, a spouse, 2 children (without mods), a bard, and a carriage driver all living at the house. That also doesn't include any pets your kids may bring home.

The dialog for asking someone to be a steward doesn't appear until you talk to them while on that property, although many will comment on your fine home and offer to steward on their own once you reach the property.

The follower mod AFT is also great for filling up homes. It's "dismiss, but stay here" command will let them hang out and live wherever you say that to them. I have a big mod house with something like 12 followers / hirelings living there.