Heavy Casualties

Post » Fri May 28, 2010 4:15 am

I grunted, my body slamming into some pieces of rubble of what used to be a huge white column. The screen of my helm nearly cracked this time, its neon green symbols and numbers confusing even my own experienced self. I looked to the left of the screen as I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. Several green blips with the names of my fellow troops next to them indicated we hadn't yet lost anyone. I winced as one of the blips turned to yellow, showing someone had been injured. Two seconds passed, and the dot turned red. "[censored] it!" I shouted, slamming my fist into the worn rubble.

Bullets pinged into the concrete near me, making me jump. "Carius, Jones, flank left! I'll take Tarick and Emanuel down the center. Garvi, take the rest around the right! MOVE!" I screamed into the walkie talkie. Static answered, followed by a broken up response.

"Sergeant, we got ~~~ mutan ~ coming up our left! Damn it! I'm hit! [censored]... [censored]!" howled Carius. I could hear Jones yelling as well, and then all I could hear was gunshots. More rounds pounded into the cover I was behind, and I blind fired back, hoping a shot struck home.

The walkie talkie sputtered back to life, "I'm okay, Sergeant. Just glanced my side, thought I was in some deep [censored] there. One muty down, two to ~~...." several seconds passed. Jones' blip went red, and I snarled with rage, shouting back into it.

"Carius! Report, damn you! What's going on over there!"

"There's blood everywhere... I can't tell if it's mine or Jones'. Please... I can ~~~. [censored], the last muty is comin' up! I aint got no ammo left, Serg! If I don't make it ~~~"

"Damn! Carius?!"

Silence.

Another blip went red. I yanked my visor up, seeing the Capital Wasteland as it was without a greenish tint. "Tarick! Emanuel! Go down the left and get their [censored] dog tags, the stupid bastards!"

I flicked on the talkie, "Garvi! Report."

"All's well, Sergeant. No casualties, three muties down. Sorry about Jones and Car."

"No time for apologies, soldier. We need reinforcements up here... Send someone back, it's your call."

I heard Garvi yelling out orders, and then he responded, "Kurd's coming back up. What do you have in mind?"

"Me and Kurd are going down the center, and Tarick's taking Emanuel down the left. How many-" I was cut off, a mutant rounded my cover, smiling gruesomely. Its malformed flesh, and putrid stench made me wretch. I fired off a few potshots with my assault rifle, and I scrambled over the other side of the rubble as a hail of bullets from the monster's rifle slammed into where I had been. I took a look back up at it, seeing that a few of my shots had hit it.

Blood leaked down its left side freely, and a bullet hole through the thing's thigh were the only two injuries I saw, and I took a chance.

Leaping back over the rubble, I slammed my riot boot as hard as I could into its jaw, and I fell to the floor. I trained my rifle onto its head. Stumbling backwards and grumbling curses, it raised its own rifle.

The last thing it saw was me grinning like a devil, and the report of seven rounds ripping apart its body. It fell to the floor with a loud thump, and I got to my feet. I saw Kurd approaching, his minigun looking hungry for blood. "Hey, Serg. Nice fightin'"

"It was nothin'," I said, and for the third time leaping over the rubble. I let loose a warcry as I sighted two of the enemy, jumping through the air, rifle firing all the while.
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Jesus Lopez
 
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Post » Thu May 27, 2010 8:08 pm

Pretty good. Nice picture of the battlefield you painted. I liked the part about the blips turning red if they died.

My only problem with it is the lack of a backstory. Where are they? Whats going on? Why are they there? How many of them are there?
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Karine laverre
 
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Post » Fri May 28, 2010 2:26 am

Well the 'what' is they're fighting super muties, and the where is the Capital Wasteland:

I yanked my visor up, seeing the Capital Wasteland as it was without a greenish tint.


Why are they there? Well, now, I haven't even figured that out yet :]
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-__^
 
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Post » Thu May 27, 2010 7:33 pm

Good job. I hope to see the next chapter up soon. The amount of detail is great.
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Mrs shelly Sugarplum
 
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Post » Fri May 28, 2010 6:13 am

Thanks :D. I'll try and get it up by tonight. I haven't yet figured out the plot yet, so it might take longer.
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Alan Whiston
 
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Post » Fri May 28, 2010 6:50 am

Haha, the blips remind me of Aliens (the movie) for some reason. Anyways, very nice. The detail in the story is great, and helps paint an image in my head.

Hope you do more work on it, and can't wait to see the next part!
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Robert Devlin
 
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Post » Thu May 27, 2010 6:47 pm

Thanks.. Anyone have any CC, though? I want stuff to fiiiix *twitch*

:D I'm glad you liked it, though.
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Kaylee Campbell
 
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Post » Fri May 28, 2010 9:07 am

Thanks.. Anyone have any CC, though? I want stuff to fiiiix *twitch*

:D I'm glad you liked it, though.


Well, there really isn't much I can see that needs a fixin'.

You could probably replace Walk-e Talk-e with Walkie Talkie. But that's just more of a personal preference. :P
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Louise Dennis
 
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Post » Thu May 27, 2010 9:16 pm

Definitely a good story. Couldn't find anything wrong with it, and the detail is wonderful. Please, go on. :)
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Roy Harris
 
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Post » Thu May 27, 2010 10:16 pm

Good idea, cat. I'll change that.

Glad thee enjoyed it, Comedian. I shall go on :D
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xemmybx
 
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Post » Fri May 28, 2010 9:31 am

The fighting lasted only another minute or two, the grim efficiency put into work by my remaining troops rendering the horrendously malformed mutants to several piles of bullet-riddled gore. I looked at Kurd, and back to Emanuel, who was jogging towards us with Tarick close behind him. Garviell, Ricky and Gio came into view, approaching to the left. Ricky and Gio carried Loken in between them; it looked like we had a man down. "[censored], report," I sighed. We have lost too many brothers today.

I looked small compared to them, in their massive power armor. I wore the optional uniform, which was some riot gear we had salvaged from a prison. "We're all good, Loken got roughed up, but nothing serious I hope. Muty got a hold o' him. Shook 'em all round like a ragdoll before we were able to put it down. He's prob'ly just got a broken rib or two.

I noticed Loken wince through his green visor at the words "broken rib". I pitied him, but I had broken many a rib before. I had too much experience to get phased by something like that, I'd just push past it like my old sergeant did. Sometimes I wondered if he was still alive; probably back at Moriarty's kicking back booze while I'm stuck out here in the middle of the Wasteland, off on some insane ambassador mission to the Oasis. I hadn't been briefed on it all, I'd been told I'd be informed further when I reach this so called Oasis. I think it's a hoax. This is an endless wasteland; an endless hell. There are no Oasis's here, just despair.

Snapping myself back to reality, I said, "Well? What're y'all waitin' for? Let's get going."

EDIT: Sorry for such a short chapter, it's just I'm super tired and I really wanted to get something out. Be brutal.
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Rachell Katherine
 
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Post » Fri May 28, 2010 3:25 am

You guys lose interest in this already? I'll start up another FF if so n ditch this one.
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Sabrina Schwarz
 
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Post » Thu May 27, 2010 6:02 pm

It doesn't really seem like too many people are interested in FF's anymore. There have been quite a lot of RP's, lately. Or maybe I'm crazy? Eh... :shrug:
But I'd love for you to go one with this, don't want it to fail like mine did :P
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MARLON JOHNSON
 
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Post » Fri May 28, 2010 3:45 am

Please don't just stop and ditch this one for another. First you only posted two chapters and the second one was brutally short. I refused to read it when you said you just wanted it ot be out and you were super tired. I don't care if your tired, you can wait another day if you have to, instead of just getting them out there, put more time and effort into them. Make one more that is longer and I'll get to this, okay?
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Jinx Sykes
 
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Post » Thu May 27, 2010 8:39 pm

I know it's just there wasn't much for me to write about in that chapter, and I didn't want to make it super long. But I'll make the next one longer.
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Brian LeHury
 
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