Having Paladin Danse as a companion is really frustrating. At least after you have found out he's a synth and decided not to kill him. I have been trying to get in his good books but he sometimes loves the institute and don't like BOS, and sometimes he's back to being a true BOS Paladin and dislike synths.
I wouldn't mind but the way he changes is totally random and I have to load a lot to not make him dislike me.
Because of this I have started taking Macreedy instead, a million times easier.

He's neutral about synths after discovering he is one.

So he hates it when you say negative or positive things about them. If you think about it, he's "finding himself." again. He will always be loyal to the Brotherhood, but he's trying to find the way to do that, and still be what he is.

If you decide to romance him, this struggle becomes pretty apparent, obviously caring for you, but unsure of himself. It's pretty tragic, and yet endearing at the same time.

Exactly. Imagine dedicating your entire life to an organization, bleeding for that organization, watching your friends suffer and die in the name of that organization. You uphold every single code of ethics the organization has and attempt to be the best thing they can offer. If a settlement is in trouble, they turn to you. If a base is under attack by filthy mutants or Synths, they come to you. It's a brotherhood in every single meaning of the word.

Only to find out that you, yes you, are a Synth, you are part of the group the Brotherhood despises with an unyielding, burning passion greater than that of the bombs of the Great War. Your leader now wants you dead. No questions, no debate. You are to be exterminated. Then this strange wanderer with a Pipboy grafted to his/her arm has the balls to stand up for you, says he/she won't kill you. After a hot debate that almost results in your leader putting one between his/her eyes, he relents. You are spared, but exiled.

This is where he is now. He's trying to find himself again, trying to find his place in the world. He's a Brother without a Brotherhood because the leader made it damned clear that he is just a 'thing' now, a 'thing' that is dead to him. He's confused, torn, wrestling with what makes sense and you're the one constant in his life. You're the one person who actually makes some sense and considering that you yourself came from a far different world and had to adjust quickly, you kind of know how it's like and can help him.

I HAVE A QUESTION. I mostly ignored Danse in my female playthrough cuz he has a massive stick up his ass and I don't like the Brotherhood and it just didn't jive with that character, but he's hot and so I wanna do a male playthrough and swap the stick up his ass for something else and so I was wondering if you can go with the Brotherhood till his revelation and then drop them, take Danse and blow them up with the Railroad without him going hostile?

Let's not forget how that one constant in his life, the person who saved him from death and is now probably his only friend is also potentially at the same time a staunch supporter of the Brotherhood, advocating and systematically conducting the procedure of elimination of all remaining synths. Just, you know, not this one. You're ok Danse. But all the other abominations have to die.

No wonder poor Danse is confused.

I don't like bringing up the Nazis, because, well, Godwin's Law, but I do smell vague parallells with loyal Nazi officers having Jewish friends (or mistresses, if you romance him).

Edited to answer @Fredward - nope. He won't go hostile, but he'll refuse to talk to you and won't be a companion anymore. You'll keep the perk tho.

Blind betrayal was so gut wrenching, he begged me not to become the exception.. but I just couldn't go through with t!

I'm really hoping to see Beth continue his storyline (and a few other companions) in a DLC. I don't expect him to reconcile with Maxon's BoS *at all* But if I could find a way for him to still serve the brotherhood in a different way, maybe he could find some closure. Not that it should be an easy journey for him.. but he needs a purpose beyond chopping my sole survivors meats. Not that he seems unhappy with that job...