I don't personally think that modding a game is inherently disrespectful to the developers. Computer games, while they have strong artistic elements to them, are still commercial mass-market entertainment, and inevitably have to be designed to appeal to a reasonably large audience (in proportion to the development budget). Compromise between artistic integrity and marketability is kind of built in from the start.
If one's own tastes differ in some details from those of the (largely hypothetical) audience the game is targeted at, then where is the disrespect in customising those details to your own liking? It's just an acknowledgement that Bethesda can't make the game ideal in every way for every player - but Bethesda do (in good time) give us the Creation Kit so we can modify those details we don't personally like.
And, sometimes, even before playing there will be some detail that you already know you'll want to change. Or, at least, have a very good idea you'll want to change.
Bethesda have said that they don't cater to players who want to try for a kill-free playthrough - that we'll be able to avoid a lot of combat, but not all. That's fair enough. But if someone does really like the challenge of outsmarting, sneaking around and persuading/bribing/intimidating any and all potential hostiles, then Bethesda generously give us the tools to let us try and put in such features. Good for them!