That's actually the point I was trying to make. Sorry if I wasn't clear enough. If they alter the game to ensure that two settlements can't be attacked at the same time, they are altering the game mechanics in a way that goes against reality since there is no logical reason for this to happen. In other words, all the raiders in the world don't call each other up to make sure only one of them are attacking your settlements at a time or in convenient intervals. These restrictions would be implemented so that the player doesn't have to make the choice of which settlement to let burn or to play babysitter on a regular basis. As such, if Bethesda chooses to implement restrictions like that one, then what is stopping them from implementing similar restrictions to ensure you're only attacked when actually at the settlement? It isn't realism. If two settlements can't be attacked at the same time, Bethesda already sacrificed realism for player enjoyment when it comes to raiding settlements.
In short, what I'm trying to say is that if Bethesda goes full realism, a lot of people are going to loathe settlements getting raided if our items can be taken. If Bethesda puts limitations on realism (which they would have a huge incentive to do so), it's entirely possible that they won't allow weapons to get stolen at all or settlements to get attacked unless you're there. My bet would be that your settlement can be raided without you there, however your weapons and items can't be touched, but your settlement resources can be stolen and people killed.